TECh SUPPORT

heres the last one...

Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C:\
prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind.
Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."

[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a
hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her
monitor's power plug.] "Does your monitor have a power
indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does
it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall."

[pause] "Yes, it is."

[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have
accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her
hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of
monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on
it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
the other cable."

[muffled] "Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."

[still muffled] "I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

[clear again] "No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle --it's
because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]

"A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!" [slam]

ok, if no one else is going to say something,i think i need to... thats 4 or 5 straight posts in tech humour. how about actually posting something that actaully matters and not jokes that have been posted before. I hate post whores, and that is exactly what you are being. and occasionaly joke here and there is fine but everytime i look in this forum i see your name at least 2 or 3 times. how about posting in something that matters for once, eh?



slick

shut the hell up...i dont need your critisism...i do post other stuff..LOOK FOR IT!@

So lets check out what you have posted...46 posts in tech humour, 42 in GCC, plus god knows how many oneliners that didnt do sh!t... so that adds up to 88 posts. 54% of your posts are pretty much worthless...so, like i said before, why don't you stop post whoring and start actually contributing...


slick

46 posts yes...threads no.....TRY LOOKING IN THE OTHER AREAS!....and get a life...counting where i post...pffffft..

IrishAssassin... Slick does have a point here... and although you won't be able to get into addicts just yet... we've been discussing the shitty attitudes that some people come back with and how it is damaging the community round here. Slick doesn't appear to have negged you so there's no need to be quite so defensive. He has made a valid point and you know full well (or with 2 red dots you should have guessed by now) that a lot of folks are becoming a little tired with seeing you either just posting jokes or one line replies.

I'm not going to neg you just yet since I know you want to be accepted round here.... so take the hint. PM me if you want a more rounded explanation.

Z

PS we seem to have crossed posts Irish... I'd delete that last post of yours quite rapidly if you know whats good for you

crossed posts?

yes as in I was writing a reply at more or less the same time as you... but since I tend to post more than a couple of words your post went up whilst I was still writing mine...

im confuzed.....but ..hey..what else is new

ok <exhibiting massive amounts of patience here - hope you appreciate this effort Mark if you ever see this!>

Irish.... exactly what about the following do you not understand?

Quote:

---

a lot of folks are becoming a little tired with seeing you either just posting jokes or one line replies.

---

Quote:

---

why don't you stop post whoring and start actually contributing

---

Quote:

---

how about posting in something that matters for once, eh?

---

I'm afraid that I must agree with zonewalker and slick here.

Its fine to post some posts in Tech Humor, and GCC, but AO is here as a community. This means that everyone here helps out. Now I'm not trying to pick on you or anything, but all your doing is getting your post count up by posting in GCC and Tech Humor.

Now no ones negged you yet, and I hope that no one does, but it would be very good if you could start helping other members or finding good information to post.. I know you probably want your AP's in the green instead of red, so to do this, post some usefull information and don't try to get greenies by posting a bunch of funny stuff.

I hope that maybe you can see what we are talking about.

ha ha ha
it was a tough problem indeed

see....theres a one liner....get on his case...


and ill try to lay off for a while...ill only post usefull stuff...if you gimme a break

ok?
deal?

Oh my fruiting god there's another one...
Some one check him out, i've only seen him posting in Tech Humour..
He's another one liner when he's not posting a million jokes from other sites forums...

Cheers
creative

one of the differences is Irish is that whilst you and Neohunk have been here about the same length of time (Oct2003), you have made more than twice the amount of posts that Neohunk has - by far you are someone who needs to cool it more.

However having said that Irish your point is valid... Neohunk take some advice and lay off the one liners like the above, it's not going to bring you any favours


Z

PS Irish - I don't do deals but improve your posts and lets see what happens shall we?

I will work on it...If you ive me a chance to

Hi David.. IrIsHASSasIN..

still having problems with the folks accepting you here, huh ?

I see you've gotten yourself a new nick.. it's "AllYourBase" isn't it ?
I could tell by your style of writing.. your one liners, your tendency to lash out when backed into a corner. I'll bet you could open up 10 accounts and I'd still be able to tell it was you.

so by my observation, this is your third account ?

If you would just post something that was a paragragh or two long and actually say something you'd be better accepted.. good luck in your new life here at AO.

is there a problem with my account?
Couse if there is....i dont care

so is that an admission ? hehe.. I see you anwswering your own threads as your alterego.

it's fine by me.. just thought I'd point out how transparent you are..

like I said.. good luck.. a new start.. hopefully a better one.

can someone say..... 'post whoreage'?

oh oh oh me me me ...post whoreage WOOO!

even though this started out as a joke and became quite a discussion, i've found that reading this entire 'postty war' actually made me laugh :D eheheheh

shouldn't there be some sort of control on new accounts in order to prevent the return of the banned users? It sounds like some terminator never ending episode... they always keep coming don't they?

I was thinking I read somewhere here that in instances of multiple accounts, some of the accounts could be deleted by the moderators...maybe that was somewhere else?

Not that it's really any of my business..... :)

first off i like the jokes but anyway..

I think this thread should be move to the piss and moan forum..

here is a solution jokes posted in this thread should'nt count as post..
would that make everybody happy than you would'nt have addicts that just post useless junk as you guys would say.. I am not on anybodys side but where the hell is the moderator for this thread.. kil it it is no longer funny

ie tech hummor

Not to change the subject back to the original one, but I'd like to talk about tech support.

Things like actual stories from your jobs in tech support that might evoke a snicker.

I'd like at least that much.

Here's an example: One of my superiors calls me and says that the cup holder on his computer is broken. I really tried talking with him hoping that he was not talking about his
cd-rom drive but he was, and he was serious.

Another time I was very busy all day with trouble calls and I keep getting calls from this one 1stSgt who tells me his email and internet are broken, describing the long-winded error messages he was recieving from Outlook and IE. I finally get down there and show him the problem. His lan cable was disconnected. I held up the end up the cable and he cursed out loud to himself.