Stories for those lazy hazy crazy days of summer...
http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/
The Register: The Home of the Mighty BOFH
Enjoy !
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Stories for those lazy hazy crazy days of summer...
http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/
The Register: The Home of the Mighty BOFH
Enjoy !
you didn't do a search of "BOFH" on AO did you? Heh, just about every link you can think of has been posted and I wrote more than 12 stories of my own and posted them here.
Hi Gore,
The Register is a British online 'zine that I read. When I came across the BOFH series, I posted the link, but as the language was perhaps a little "unpredictable" I made it a hidden post (my first and only :D )
http://www.antionline.com/showthread...hreadid=268798
The online shop is worth a look as they do some amusing stuff. I have a few of their T-shirts and can vouch for the quality and durability. I am particularly proud of my "Practical Unix Terrorism" and "Spammers" ones.....................but there again, I am going senile :D
It is amazing that these T-shirts start conversations with people old enough to be my parents, and young enough to be my grand children :D
Hi gore,
Yeh...I've seen a few here and there...but not in a collection like this...maybe instead of having them scattered around someone should compile them into something that resembles a collection...that way you don't have to go looking for them when you want something funny to read.
Basically, I only do searches in the more important forums...for Cosmos, Chit, Humor, I'll just post then look at the bottom to see " Similiar Threads '...and delete if necessary...this only listed Mephisto in 2002...
Eg ;)
Hi nihil,
Yeh...they do have some pretty good-lookin'/funny stuff in there.
Eg ;)
Aah 2002, the good ol' days ;)
BOFH really is something special, thx for the link Egaladeist ;)
Hi Mephisto,
I'm a magician...I mention his name and here he is :D ...or do you just have great hearing...errr...reading.....somethin' abilities :D
Eg ;)
Here who is?
Hi gore,
Guess it's just one of those life mysteries...here, and then, POOF ! He's gone again ! :D
Eg ;)
http://www.antionline.com/showthread...r=1#post841405
There are links to Bofh collections there.
And yet another one
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09...05_episode_27/
Putting a price on the Boss
Number 28 of 2005..
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09...05_episode_28/
Bloody computer room tourists!
I'm so itching to give out spoilers here.. .. .. resisting.. resisting..
Okay... What the hell is Dutch lobster?Quote:
Read the article, did a google search and for whatever reason it does seem to be related to seafood. :) So go ahead and google for it. It seems to be safe...
I think it has something to do with this urban legend
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bllobster.htm
A lobster in her... And it lays eggs in her... And then they get out of her... So she got pregnant of hundreds of little shrimps. Wow...
. o O (Am not wondering about how that feels. Ewwww...)
Going down the fish market tomorrow Katja? ;)
He's Back.
First line says it all.
ST must have been feeling the heat from Gore's BOfM
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11...05_episode_30/
The story above "Pensioners in drunken elk terror ordeal" is worht reading too.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11...en_elk_attack/
I've heard of drunken elephants but not elk.
FEAR me Lusers.
I'd like to take this thread back up to the frontpage
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/12...05_episode_33/
BOFH: the PFY goes AWOL
Haha that's a good one. He needs to start writing WAY more. I sit and wait and he only does a few a month. I mean it's not like I top him doing.... What 1 a year sometimes? but these are awesome.
It'd be nice if they did come out a bit more often, yeah. I'm always in the market for new material, anyway.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/12...05_episode_34/
BOFH: Beware the lie-detecting mouse
yet another reason to dig up this thread..
The last BOFH for 2005
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/12...fh_episode_36/
Dr Bastard's photo lab
The first BoFH of 2006
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01...006_episode_1/
And number two for this year..
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01...006_episode_2/
BOFH: The Way of the Hammer
And number two for this year..
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01...006_episode_2/
BOFH: The Way of the Hammer
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01...006_episode_3/
BOFH: 'Did you know..?'
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01...006_episdoe_4/
BOFH: Automated attendant abuse
btw: lol @ url typo !!
When the BOFH signs up for company therapy sessions, he wants to freely associate about problems. But whose? Blackmail's in the air...
I get in one morning and find posters around the coffee machine to the effect that the US owners of the company, under the expanding umbrella of their Health and Welfare scheme 'for all workers' (which eliminates half the staff for a start), are offering free therapy sessions to anyone who feels they need them.
"It's crazy!" I blurt to the PFY, as soon as he rolls in, holding one of the aforementioned posters.
"Why?" he asks, with the air of someone seriously contemplating taking up the offer.
"Oh, puhleeze. Who would turn down the opportunity of spending an hour of paid time whining to someone about how their mother didn't love them and their deep-seated problems concerning trains and tunnels?"
"Sorry?" the PFY asks, obviously a little short on his Freud appreciation.
"Look, half the staff already whine to each other about how hard they have it. This just legitimises the whole process!"
"You really have a problem with this don't you?" the PFY quips. "Perhaps you should seek some help with your feelings of..."
(One very long high-pitched scream later): "So do you get what I'm trying to impart?" I ask, opening the drawer that contains the PFY's testicles.
"Yes, yes," the PFY gasps, on his way to the ground. "But..."
"But?" I cry, opening the drawer for round two.
"But don't you think that management knows the staff spend lots of time whingeing..."
"And are trying to reduce it by making the whole process 'street-legal' so to speak?" I finish.
"Yeah. If they get real help, instead of a chance to grumble..."
"...they might become more productive?"
"Yes!"
"I see your point, but I don't think that management knows how much the staff like to complain. Still, this warrants keeping an eye on..."
And so it was that, two days later, I was getting first-hand experience of the therapy 'thang'.
"...and so what we use is a therapy called 'RET' - Rational Emotive Therapy, where we ask you to face your problems as problems that you, and you alone, have to deal with, challenging their reason for being there in the first place."
"Ah yes," I interrupt, to avoid lapsing into a boredom coma. "I've done a lot of therapy in the past, mainly 'TPC', but it doesn't seem to work - my problems are back by the next therapy session."
"TPC? I'm not familiar with that."
"TPC? Ten Pints and a Curry. Every Friday, down at the local boozer and then down the local Ruby."
"Yes, very droll," he comments, lounging back in his comfy chair. "Now perhaps we can talk about what brings you here?"
"Of course! I'm actually here to find out all the dirt you've amassed on our staff!"
"I'm sorry?"
"You know, the dirt - who's a bedwetter, who has a predilection for the company of furry rodents, that sort of thing."
"All the information I gather is confiden..."
"Like the boss being impotent?" I ask.
"How did you...?"
"All in your notes," I murmur.
"I don't keep them on computer!"
"But you do keep them on a pad in full view of the elevator CCTV cameras..."
"But they're in modified shorthand!"
"That abbreviated Pitmans?! It took eight minutes of processor time to decode on a machine with a technical vocab, phrase analysis and variance..."
"But..."
"Face it - I'm going to say you told me anyway, so why not cut out the middleman?"
"I can't. I swore an oath."
"The one about not dobbing in nutters?"
"We don't use terms like 'nutter'."
"Or like 'professional misconduct'?"
"What do you really want?"
"Dirt!"
"Oh, all right!" he shouts angrily.
"Your boss has an irrational fear of power staplers."
"That's not irrational. Almost everyone I know does! The PFY has nightmares about them. And drawers now, too, I shouldn't wonder..."
"And one of your telephonists feels she may be a nymphomaniac."
"Which one!?" blurts the PFY, bursting in from behind the door.
Honestly, that boy should eat less red meat...
"Small potatoes," I complain. "I'm after the real stuff no-one should know about..."
"There isn't any!"
"Breach of professional confidentiality means personal damages proceedings now, doesn't it?" I ask the PFY in an off-hand manner.
"Oh yes," he chirps, grinning evilly.
"All right," my personal therapist moans, throwing in the towel...
I really did feel better at the end of the session. So good, in fact, that I booked myself in every week...
"...for about two weeks, until word gets out that secrets aren't so secret," I mention to the PFY, as I start my TPC therapy early Friday afternoon.
"That won't be for a while will it?" the PFY queries.
"I dunno, ask me after six pints when the 'workers' arrive. I feel a 'cathartic' experience coming on in my therapy..."
"Sounds nasty..."
"Bound to be. Your turn to pay for therapy I believe?" I mumble, handing over my medicinal vessel.
That's the thing with therapy - you've got to want to get better.
===============
This one.... Man I love it. The best part is:
"(One very long high-pitched scream later): "So do you get what I'm trying to impart?" I ask, opening the drawer that contains the PFY's testicles."
LOL
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/02...006_episode_8/
BOFH: Being root