Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another
snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can
wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water
park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You
never have to drive to another gas station rest room because this one is
just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to
turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them. The occasional well rendered belch is
practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your
feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff
about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the
slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can
still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three pack. Three pairs of shoes are
more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on
your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your
big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all
seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your
nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December
24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will
enjoy reading it....

_______________________________________________________
You can't run with the big dogs if you pee like a pup

Do you know how tough it is being a man...?

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive pig.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly lingerie, you're a pervert. If you don't, then you can’t be straight.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious enough.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN.......

so overly stereotypical of the "western world" it is funny for its grossly inaccurate portrayal of men.

unhappy: In the immortal words of Kesuke Miyagisan, "Balance is key".

Who's Kesuke Miyagi-san ?

In the immortal words of Jimmy Norton


... it's not rape, if they pass out first ...

I think we've all just figured out why unhappy is unhappy :)

@ttitude, all that may be true....but I don't have to walk around with anything dangling between my legs distracting me all the time, so I'll take my list over your list any day! :p

Deb:

You are clearly mislead with regard to the function of the penis...

It does not distract us... It can't possibly be distracting... because there is nothing else in our body that is capable of thought once we pass puberty... So how could we be distracted???

Silly girl... :)

...I think you just made my point for me. ;)

Hey... Wait a minute... I didn't say my penis was smart did I????

Jeez... Women... They look at a couple of Chipndales guys and think all men have big brains.... :rolleyes:

:)

I like mine better than the chopped corn beef between YOUR legs ...


(like... oh... my... god... i can't believe he said that)










Still don't like my sense of humor? Sorry but I have a sense of humor of a Comodo Dragon...