For gore... Employee Memo

This one is for gore... :D
I think a lot of you have seen this or something like it by now. But I instantly thought of our ol buddy gore when I read this.

Quote:

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Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation. Due to complaints received, this type of language will be no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers and others. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive individuals.



TRY SAYING:

Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF:

And when the **** do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING:

I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF:

No ****ing way.

TRY SAYING:

Really?

INSTEAD OF:

You've got to be shitting me!

TRY SAYING:

Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF:

Tell someone who gives a ****.

TRY SAYING:

I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF:

It's not my ****ing problem.

TRY SAYING:

That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF:

What the ****?

TRY SAYING:

I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF:

This **** won't work.

TRY SAYING:

I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF:

Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING:

He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF:

He's got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING:

Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF:

Eat **** and die.

TRY SAYING:

So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF:

Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING:

I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF:

**** it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING:

I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF:

Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING:

I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF:

This job sucks.

TRY SAYING:

You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF:

Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING:

I see.

INSTEAD OF:

Blow me.

TRY SAYING:

I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF:

You don't know what the **** you're doing.



Thank You for your cooperation in this matter.

The Management

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