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I met my current girlfriend on the net over 2 years ago. we live in different states, so it really hard. Growing up I lived in WA state, but now that I'm in college, I live in CA. My girlfriend lives in TX, and is moving to CA at the end of this month to live with me. We've visited eachoter quite a few times, and think it's right to be with eachother.
For anyone who is thinking about an online relationship, take it from me: it's VERY hard. however, I definitely do not regret my online relationship and I think that we stuck with it even though it was hard because we saw the light at the end of the tunnel. And now in less than a month we will be going to college and living a normal life like any couple.
-Nitro-
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I think net relationships are the same thing as long distance relationships. I met a girl on the internet that to this day I feel we were 100% compatible. Actually fell in love with the girl. But because of the distance between us it didn't work. I need a relationship with some kind of real actual interaction, going out to dinner, going to the movies, just hanging out, and of course the intimate physical aspect. The phone and internet just doesn't cut it for me.
I think by meeting someone through the net you get to know the real them, and that is what attracts you to them. Which is great because the norm is usually based on looks and then getting to know the person. A net relationship is the exact opposite. Person first, then looks. Distance kills though. It really sucks meeting someone who you think can truely be your soul mate, but they live across the country.
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I've never had an online relationship, other than finding it a great way to make friends outside of the ones you would normally have. It's nice when you're married, you can meet people who have interests specific to you, and other friends than the ones you and your spouse "share." I have actually met a lot of the people that I am friends with online, mostly because I was seeking out a women's group in the area I live in. We all meet once a month, it's sort of like Oprah's book club without Oprah. We all read the same book, then meet once a month at a bookstore/coffeeshop, spend about 20 minutes discussing the book, and then about 2 1/2 hours discussing the rest of our lives. It's really neat, b/c we email each other regularly, and all met online before we met IRL.
I do have a friend who is in a VERY serious relationship with someone she met online, but I don't know if it really counts, cause they met on AOL, found out they lived within about 20 miles of each other, and decided to meet, which pretty much ended the online part of their relationship. Although as he is in the Navy, and gone a lot, they still keep up the email portion of their relationship, because it's the only contact they have when he's gone. They are moving in together when he gets back this time, and it seems to have worked out really good for them.
Deb :D
P.S. I also know a woman who just got married to some guy from the Netherlands that she had never met until he arrived here a week before the wedding. They met online. I don't know her very well, and to tell you the truth, I don't see this marriage lasting long at all....it just seems too weird.
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I think it's pretty easy to fall for people online because words have power, and you make them mean what you want; you can read into what people write to mean whatever you'd most like it to mean, and imagine the attitude that goes with it. Having made a point of studying writing styles compared with speaking styles of people who are my mates IRL but also chat via IMs, I've noticed huge differences in presentation, so bearing that in mind it's hard for me to believe that the way people present online is the way they do IRL.
That said, there are several people I've met online whom I'll never ever forget because you can address personal issues in a much less confrontational way, so you get to hear some really uncensored and often amazing opinions and ideas. I love how people are uninhibited online, life would be so much simpler if everyone was like that IRL! I've had a lot of online crushes, people who I would always be writing to and chatting to, but never anything where we actually decided to be a couple. I've never really gotten how cybersex works, I saw Lawnmower Man when I was a kid and for years thought it meant that! Lol...I guess it could be an easy way to get off, but never with strangers. And I think I'm devoid of that drive anyway, I have a counsellor to teach me to understand flirting, I find it all so weird, I just like people so much that I feel like sex detracts from the identity...This isn't a criticism of anyone who thinks otherwise btw, just explaining my rationale. However, I think that net relationships are great precisely because I'm so obsessed with openness and honesty, and it's a great way to get to know someone without awkwardness; I've met loads of really safe people online who are my good friends IRL now. I'm sure the same could be said for loving relationships, but I dunno, I've never had much luck! :P
XXX
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Well, I will add my 2 cents worth. I met my b/f online and we've been together for almost 10 years now. Heck, we'll probably be buying a house in the next few years. We ran a business together, geek together and game together (although I tend to curse more than he does when we play.. ROFL.. )
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Greetings:
I met my partner online, and we've been living together for 4 years now.
I like to think of meeting people on the internet as an easy way of expanding your search radius, heh.
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Indeed.. I have met my internet partner 6 years ago and we are buying a house in two years! That must mean something so net relationships can work out for the better.
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I can definitely agree to the idea that people tend to be less guarded online than they are in real life. You can hide (not necessarily in a bad way) behind text. You don't need to worry about body language, a stain on your shirt, or even any quircky and seemingly humungous point-based bacteriological inflammatory acne event, code named ZIT. Whether this really helps people ("You're not the kind of outspoken person I married!") or not, I don't know.
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It is true that people can be more truthful online, and it's true that some online relationships work, but it is entirely more likely that they wont, the answer to every one of the questions for me at least is no. Although I've had and have good friends that I met online and we do talk to eachother face to face with webcams we have never thought that we were "in love" and in the future we may meet IRL but for now we're content to talk online since a couple of them live acround the world.
Another point I'd like to make is that the 'net used to be made up of "geeks" and "losers" but now everybody is online and that generalization is often made of anybody that spends much time on a computer. That's unfair to many of us and although theres lots of pale scrawny people, mainly guys that sit around all day on a computer, not all are.
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Can't say I've had any "relationship" beyond a little bit of flirting.... and a little bit of porn (I'll admit it).
I think it's funny to hear people rant about how technology is driving humans apart. In fact, I used to feel that way, too, but I talk to my good friends all the time on my cell phone 'cause I always have it and I get free long distance. Also, I've met some great people online just because it's so much easier to find out you have some similar interests. Going to a bar can be more impersonal and more unhealthy than chatting with someone online.
It might not have been something other people would have noticed, but I always felt a little out-of-place before I started using the internet. The experiences I've had online have made me much more of a complete and centered person, so that I'm able to bring more to any relationship, whether it's online or off, romantic or otherwise.