2 jokes for the price of 1
Macho Man.
A couple got married and after the wedding the husband decided it was time he should try to lay down some rules.
"I'll be home when i want, if i want and at whatever time i want, and i don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless i tell you i won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when i want with my old buddies and you better not give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" he asked.
His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night - with or without you." :D
Fart Soup.
A Guy met a girl at a party one night and asked her over to his house for dinner to meet his parents. The girl agreed and at eight o'clock the next night they sat down for dinner. The mother had made a wicked cabbage soup. The girl knew that cabbage gave her wind but she didn't say anything and started sipping the soup.
After about five sip of soup she could feel a fart brewing up in her stomach and it got so bad that she just had to let it go.
It came out like a little puff of air.
The guy's father lent over and looked underneath the chair where Skippy the dog lay. "Get outside!" The father said to the dog with a grouch in his voice.
The dog didn't move.
Five minutes latter the girl had to fart again. This time she thought, oh well he's going to blame it on the dog, so once more she let it go, this time with a little toot of sound. The father leant over again and said, "Get outside,Skip!"
Another five minutes later, the girl had to let a huge ripper go. Without any fear, this time she leant a little to the left and let a tootin' blast go.
This time the father leant over and said to the dog.
"Hurry up dog and get outside, before she shits on ya!"
cheers
f2b
