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Thread: If Edgar Allen Poe had a Computer

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001

    Talking If Edgar Allen Poe had a Computer

    Found this in one of my numerous mailboxz....
    Don't know who wrote it, or who sent it to me.. but it made me chuckle.. so here it is just for yewz...

    Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
    System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
    Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
    Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
    Having reached the bottom line,
    I took a floppy from the drawer.
    Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command
    But got instead a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore"

    Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
    These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
    Carefully, I weighed the options.
    These three seemed to be the top ones.
    Clearly, I must now adopt one:
    Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore...

    With my fingers pale and trembling
    Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
    Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
    Praying for some guarantee
    Finally I pressed a key --
    But on the screen what did I see?
    Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

    I tried to catch the chips off-guard --
    I pressed again, but twice as hard
    Luck was just not in the cards.
    I saw what I had seen before.
    Now I typed in desperation
    Trying random combinations
    Still there came the incantation:
    Choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore.

    There I sat, distraught, exhausted by my own machine accosted
    Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
    And then I saw an awful sight:
    A bold and blinding flash of light --
    A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my core
    I saw the screen collapse and die: No No, my database I cried
    I thought I heard a voice reply,
    "You'll see your data NEVERMORE!"

    To this day I do not know
    The place to which lost data goes
    I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored.
    But as for productivity, well
    I fear that it goes straight to hell
    And that's the tale I have to tell
    Your Choice: ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2001

    Talking delirious

    Not me, but Poe was. At least, when he wrote he was. That's why his stories and tales are so great I think. Beeing delirious does make your vivsion on life somewhat more accurate I think; *bizare*

    Me likes Poe!


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    If Poe had a computer what would it look like? Would it be black with a Raven? Would it be red with a heart.. Would it have a pendulum on it? What do you think..?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2001

  5. #5

    Thumbs up

    it\'s all 1001011001 to me!

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001

    Thumbs up

    exceedingly froody!
    \"Software is like sex: it\'s better when it\'s free.\" -Linus Torvalds

  7. #7
    If edgar allen poe had a computer...

    Would it look like mine?

    My computer
    Hackers are impervious. Resistant is futile.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    I never got around to replying when this first got posted. Its definitely the best (and only) parody of the raven i've ever seen. Go Poe!
    Why am I still here?

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