Is your child a computer hacker?

[linuxcomando]

um.....lets not show this to my parents

[unixphoenix]

ahahahahahah thats ****in hilarious

[lord_darkside_x]

#1-this guy is the biggest idiot and most over protective father ever.

#2- why does it have to be a boy... it's all about if "your son"

#3- "AMD" disables hacking security feature HAHAHA!

#4- and i quote "Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash"."

this is the funniest **** ever.... i can't even go on..... laughter over taking me.... <gasp>

[5150]

HAHAHAHAHA!Hey i think i found a new exploit in my CD player and im stealing Mp3's as we speak!

This has to be one of the funniest **** i've ever seen!

Great post





-5150-

[redthefed]

This is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. How can this guy be so incredibly wrong? I did a search, and this is the only thing that he's written. First day? Probably. Last day? Only if his boss knows anything ANYTHING A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!! about computers. I hope he is laughed into quitting.

[GrimMan]

Woooooo boy...I knew I was in for a ride in the first two seconds of reading:

As a part of our patriotic duty to this great nation of ours, we are currently installing a certain, classified module to our proprietary, closed-source web serving system

Heh.
Anyway...this thing is too good! Seriously, if anyone hasn't read it...DO IT! Print this out and highlight all the funny parts; it's better then a microsoft press conference!
"A computer hacker in my own House?!"
rotflmao
Now, just a word on all 10 of the serious points risen by this wonderful article.

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?

Yes, anyone who realizes AOL sucks MUST be an evil h4x0r!

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?

Oh my god! A power rangers screensaver! Little Billy is a hacker!
(Be sure to check out his list of evil hacker software, such as Flash)

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?

"Dad, can we get a cd-drive? Everyone uses them now."
"Timmy, you evil hacker! NO!"
Actually, this is a VERY funny part, be sure to check out his rant on the Evils of "Extra Memory" and "AMD"(Apparently a terrorist company)

4. Does your child read hacking manuals?

OK, this one makes a LITTLE sense, except for his bizarre little aside about his seventeen year old daughter sneaking out wearing, of all things, PERFUME!

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

Apparently spending more then half an hour on any given computer in one day means you are "DOSing" websites and being an evil hacker. It's apparently your civic duty to kick your kid off the comp...
"No Timmy, I don't care about your damn English project! It's been a full 35 minutes!"

6. Does your son use Quake?

I need say nothing but quote the article here...and point out the author apparently has the IQ OF A WET NOODLE
"It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms"

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?

Is your kid going through puberty? HE'S AN EVIL HACKER! (Note - females are NEVER hackers)

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

Yes, Lunix, the terrible system used to wreak worldwide havok.

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance

This one is good. Apparently ravers are just wannabe hackers. Since hackers often wear "bright, day-glo colors", "carry glowsticks" and "wear pacifiers". Damn you hackers going to your hacker parties and doing E and dancing around to evil hacker music!

10. Is your son struggling academically?

Yes...as we all know, the ones who do bad in school are the hackers. *cough, whistle, look around*

Well, there you have it. Apparently every teenager in america is an evil hacker...BEWARE!
-Grim

[8*B@LL]

Originally posted by GrimMan

This one is good. Apparently ravers are just wannabe hackers. Since hackers often wear "bright, day-glo colors", "carry glowsticks" and "wear pacifiers". Damn you hackers going to your hacker parties and doing E and dancing around to evil hacker music!

i just thought i'd clarify this for anyone who doesnt know. the reason that ravers wear pacifiers is that one of the side-effects of E is that you tend to clench your jaw...this is kinda annoying if you have nothing to chew on.

also, from the article:

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

jesus freakin christ...not another f'n guy who thinks that computer games make you shoot people. if anyone would like i can write out about 4 pages of reasons that that is a stupid f'n statement. anyway, i just LOVE how he talks about how quake is only used by hackers, because, as everyone knows, all gamers are evil hackers out to destroy the world with their "illegal" amd processors and the evil soviet hacker program stolen from stuff microsoft wrote for the us gov.

i wish i could meet this guy so i could beat some brains into him...i wonder what kind of "research" he did into hacking that led him to believe that bad grades = hacker...

also, aside from the linux part and the hacking manual's he is describing a young gamer who is going through puberty and rebeling a bit...

[omnik]

Far too bad that helpdeskfunnies or computerstupidities.com are not out there anymore... that would be the perfect post for those sites for sure.

I'm actually laughing too damn hard at his ignorance to post anything really worthwhile, but I thought I'd put something up.

[Focmaester]

I laughed my ass off reading this, but if you think about it. make a list of questions to ask grown ups regarding hackers/computers and see what they answer. They don't know ****.

[sebastos12]

Originally posted by AutoBaud
Found this from another forum. I thought I'd share with you guys. This is one of the most funniest webpages out there.

Enjoy!

it is very funny thankz AutoBaud for your entertainment you give us.