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Thread: The Conscience of a HTML'er

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2001

    Post The Conscience of a HTML'er

    We all (should) know The Mentor's famous last words / The Conscience of a Hacker .
    Nice text, but maybe a little outdated.

    I made my own version:

    The Conscience of a html'er
    by Negative
    Written on November 18, 2001

    Another FrontPage-designed site got listed today, it's all over the search-engines.
    "Visit my site! Please?"

    Damn FrontPage-designed sites. They're all alike.

    But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1990's
    technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the coder?
    Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him,
    what may have molded him?

    I am a html'er, enter my world...

    Mine is a world that begines with FrontPage. I'm better than
    most of the other designers, this crap I copy and paste bores me...

    Damn Frontpage-designed sites. They're all alike.

    I'm taking a FrontPage course. I've listened to teachers
    explain for the fifteenth time how to right-click.
    I understand it. "No, Mr. Gates, I didn't show my work.
    The cat ate my floppy.

    Damn kid. Probably too stupid to copy and paste. They're all alike.

    I made a discovery today. I opened up a text-editor.
    Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to.
    If my site sucks, it's because I screwed it up.

    Not because it doesn't like me...
    Or feels threatened by me...
    Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
    Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

    Damn kid. All he knows is FrontPage. They're all alike.

    And then it happened. A door opened to a world rushing
    through my phone line like heroin through an addict's veins,
    an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day
    incompetencies is sought... a board is found.

    "This is it... this is where I belong."
    I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never
    talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all.

    Damn kid. FrontPage again. They're all alike.

    You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed Frontpage at school when we hungered for html... the bits of
    code that you did let slip through were pre-designed and tasteless.
    We've been dominated by Microsoft, or ignored by the apathetic.
    The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils,
    but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

    This is our world now... the world of the tag and the table,
    the beauty of the frame. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us code-sadists.
    We explore... and you call us code-sadists.
    We seek after knowledge...
    and you call us code-sadists.
    We exist without FrontPage
    ... and you call us code-sadists.
    You design millions
    of alike-looking sites, yet we're the code-sadists.
    Yes, I am a code-sadist. My fetish is tables. My fetish is
    that of judging sites by what they have to say, not what
    they look like. My fetish is frames, something
    that you will never forgive me for.

    I am a html'er, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual,
    but you can't stop us all...

    After all, we're all alike.

    Anyone interested in writing other versions? A Linux-version maybe?

  2. #2




    Nice work Negative.

    <P ALIGN=Center> Keep up the good werk...

    Quote "I am a html'er, enter my world... "



  3. #3


    I just had to reply to this thread to move it back to the top... where it belongs. Up we go...

  4. #4
    Senior since the 3 dot era
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    The so respected Negative style strikes again (back from the illustrous darkness of lost posts)

  5. #5
    PHP/PostgreSQL guy
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    :: This is so true! I can't STAND to see fp created pages (it's not worthy enough of even capitalizing it) especially with all that meta/intro/commented crap they have to shove in there, like someone would be proud of using fp to 'create' a web page. Bunch of drag and drop losers! Long live vi! Notepad'ers unite! Emacs extended to the world! *rants and fumes off-screen*

    Ok...I'm better
    We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that we are now qualified to do just about anything with almost nothing.

  6. #6
    HTML!!!!! this is so true! (really) i know so many people that use frontpage to make their web site.....and it sucks.....

  7. #7
    Gotta love HTML

  8. #8
    Hey Kick ass another person from Iowa I had to post this.

    Hey Negative you should e-mail that to bill himself. I'm sure he would get a kick out of it. that was very creative of you. Thanks for the good laugh.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001


    Negative, I enjoyed it as much as when I read it first. Im glad you finally shared it with everyone here.
    Wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things.
    --Ecclesiastes 10:19

  10. #10
    Fastest Thing Alive s0nIc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001


    hehehe hmmm... as long as it has codes for me to edit and exploit.. im cool wid it..

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