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Thread: Monday puter humor

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001

    Lightbulb Monday puter humor

    As always i post a joke at the start of the week to get the week started on the right foot. A little laugh makes monday more bareable.

    **** HAPPENS
    in various world religions

    TAOISM: **** happens.

    CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "**** happens".

    ZEN: (What is the sound of **** happening?)

    JESUITISM: If **** happens and when nobody is watching, is it really ****?

    ISLAM: **** happens if it is the will of Allah.

    COMMUNISM. Equal **** happens to all people.

    CATHOLICISM: **** happens because you are bad.

    PSYCHOANALYSIS: **** happens because of your toilet training.

    SCIENTOLOGY: **** happens if you're on our **** list.

    ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad **** happens, and good **** happens.

    UNITARIANISM: Maybe **** happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

    RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this **** happen to someone else.

    JUDAISM: Why does **** always happen to US?

    REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

    MYSTICISM: What weird ****!

    AGNOSTICISM: What is this ****?

    ATHEISM: I don't believe this ****!

    NIHILISM: Who needs this ****?

    AZTEC: Cut out this ****!

    QUAKER: Let's not fight over this ****.

    FORTEANISM: No ****??

    12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the ****.

    VOODOO: Hey, that **** looks just like you!

    NEWAGE: Visualize **** not happening.

    DEISM: **** just happens.

    EXISTENTIALISM: **** doesn't happen; **** is.

    SECULAR HUMANISM: **** evolves.

    CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: **** is in your mind.

    BUDDHISM: **** happens, but pay no mind.

    SHINTOISM: **** is everywhere.

    HINDUISM: This **** has happened before.

    WICCA: Mix this **** together and make it happen!

    HASIDISM: **** never happens the same way twice.

    THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the **** that happens.

    DIANETICS: Your mother gave you **** before your were born.

    SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No **** on Saturdays.

    JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No **** happens until Armageddon.

    MOONIES: Only happy **** really happens.

    HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

    BAHA'I: It's all the same ****.

    STOICISM: This **** is good for me.

    OBJECTIVISM: Our **** is good for you.

    EST: If my **** bothers you, that's your fault.

    REAGANISM: Don't move; the **** will trickle down.

    FASCISM: **** makes the trains run on time.

    CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the **** away.

    EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-****.

    DISCORDIANISM: Some funny **** happened to me today.

    RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this ****.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    you forgot one:

    SATANISM: : shits just gonna happen for eternity! :

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Oh know you forgot another one. You got to have this one to keep up with the flow.

    TUXISM: tail -f /var/log/messages The abbilty to keep up.
    The COOKIE TUX lives!!!!
    Windows NT crashed,I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Alternative Zen : Website not responding, many more available

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    great.....**** **** everywhere.....
    A laptop, internet connection and beer.

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