A procrastinator's work is never done.

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?.

Never let a computer know you're in a hurry

With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error

To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Viagra, its wassup.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator but I never got around to it.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

THINK -- it gives you something to do while the computer is down.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.




Any ways hope you find some humor/irony.