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Thread: Kim Schmitz a.k.a. Kimble

  1. #1

    Angry Kim Schmitz a.k.a. Kimble

    I really never liked this guy... I meet Kimble in person a few years back in Las Vegas. He was a dumb ass then and he is an even bigger dumb ass now. I wish he would have killed himself.
    If you dont know anything about Kimble go check out his site at or just do a search for news on kimble...


  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    hey man ur friend ,... this kimble he's looking for an PR Manager ...
    Are you a successful PR manager and would you like to market the Kimpire or Kimble in your country? Send your reference list, track record and marketing ideas. Send your email to

    i think u can handle the campaign for this A*S*0*L*!? .. after u r done from the poll
    When the power of Love overcomes the Love of power, the world will know peace... Jimi Hendrix
    I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask...... what was war?

  3. #3

    Thumbs down

    yeah right lol he can stick his Kimpire right up his ass....


  4. #4
    PHP/PostgreSQL guy
    Join Date
    Dec 2001

    Novel ahead

    First, this is pretty long because I felt the need to laugh at this guy and I've got an hour to wait for three kernel compiles before I can reboot the systems. This stuff is pulled off of so bear with me.

    Our brains and the Internet, that's all we need to be successful. Follow my vision and benefit from the growth of the Kimpire. Look around, identify your chance and join the Kimpire. .
    No, it's my brains and the internet that will make me successful. We've seen you rip off people, steal their donated money under a different guise and use it for your own wealth. Your vision and your 'kimpire' is nothing more than a pompous plea for free services. My chance is definitely not going to be with your 'kimpire'.

    Every Kimpire profit will be shared between everybody who made it to the Hall of Fame.
    If you make substantial contributions to the Kimpire, your name will appear in the Hall of Fame.
    Earn respect, friendship, wisdom and money with your support for the Kimpire.
    The Kimpire can make you rich and the other way around.
    The Kimpire will rule the world, so better be a part of it ;-)
    What profit are you talking about? Everything I read states you're wanting donations, money transfers, free services, I'm not sure where you're getting this profit from. Unless of course, you're "robbing Peter to pay Paul". As for 'substantial contributions', you mean if I donate 100,000 bucks my name can be 'centered' on a Hall of Fame web page where everyone can see what a dumbass I was?! Right on! And I'd lose respect, friendship, wisdom AND ESPECIALLY money if I supported your lousy venture.

    Free service plea #1
    If you are able to translate this Kimpire page to one of the following languages: Arabic, Chinese, Czech, Dutch, Finnish, French, German, Indian, Indonesian, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Malay, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish, Swedish, Thai, Turkish, or any other language, you are welcome to do so. It is important that your work is of high quality.
    This isn't an Open Source project in need of help pages being translated into dozens of different languages. I find it HILARIOUS as **** (Eating_Scarlett, eat yer heart out, hehe) that you have german mentioned considering your paragraph of german-hate-and-discontent.

    Your friends will hate you if you do this #1
    The Kimpire needs to reach the critical mass to succeed. You can help the Kimpire if you inform three of your best friends about this web site. Simply type in their email addresses followed by your own email address into the fields below.
    Are you out of your MIND?! My friends will kill me, burn my house down, rape my doors and kick in my women if I sent them this garbage. Either that or they'd die from pulmonary edema because their hearts gave out due to laughter. I'm not sure.

    Free service plea #2
    If you are a webmaster who wants to support the Kimpire, simply put a banner on your web site. Every year I will invite three referrers to one of my yachting events, for FREE:

    1. The referrer generating the most visitors for the Kimpire.
    2. The referrer who developed the coolest link to the Kimpire.
    3. The referrer that is the lucky winner out of all referrers. any webmaster would be willing to put that laughable banner on your site. They'd be made fun of until they commited suicide or until they got pissed off and took an AK-47 to work. Define 'yachting events'. Is this a yacht that was 'given to you' because you wouldn't pay for it and would only accept it in support for your 'kimpire'? But, in the event you do have three webmasters who win, let me know their addresses. I want to ridicule them until I get a restraining order slapped on me or they commit suicide.

    Free service plea #3 - #5 (this is worth 3)
    My site attracts more and more visitors every day, and they generate massive traffic. At the moment, has about 500 gigabytes of traffic every month. I need a strong hosting partner with a lot of bandwidth, server power and a high level of security. I will not pay for the hosting services, but I will make sure that my hosting provider will get business by putting a "hosted by you" banner on my front page. If you are interested in a deal like this, send your email to
    Notice, no counter found on your page and if it is more and more every day, that's because everyone's laughing at your miserable ass. 500 gb a month of traffic? WTF are you hosting? Porn from germany? (sorry, bad bad joke) Notice, he "needs a strong hosting partner with a lot of bandwidth, security, and power" yet he will "not pay for the hosting services". Look dumb****, people are out to make money, not get leeched by idiots like you. And all they would get is a lousy ass "Hosted by you" banner on your front page? Please, with pages like yours, who needs bad advertisement? Deal..that's a laugh...downright riot. More like "if you're interested in grabbing your ankles with no vaseline", email here!

    Free service plea #6
    Are you a manufacturer or producer of fashion, caps, shoes, electronics, drinks, snacks, cosmetics, glasses, cartoons, or any other product that could look, feel, smell or taste good as a Kimpire product? Lets market it together.
    Yeah, let's market it together with you putting some cheesy logo on their product which actually sells which would then cause their product to NOT sell (or be sold to Consumer's Digest for the Items Not To Ever Buy list) and then they'd beat you senseless, drop your logo, and hope they can recover. Your business logo should be "With a logo like mine, you've never been closer to bankruptcy." or something similar to life-ending phrases.

    Free service please #7-10 (this is worth 4)
    I need a full service Internet shopping partner who can handle the sale of my products including payment and logistics. Customer care is very important. I need a service hotline for customers who prefer ordering by phone. I'll make sure my products are shipped to you, while you take care of the rest.
    Yeah...a full service internet shopping partner who actually make a product that's worthwhile would never just give their product for free without something in return other than a 'shopping hosted by you' banner (I can see you giving that line). Your service hotline would cost an assload just by itself and not to mention the person on the other end. Can you imagine them? I can see them burning out after 1 day, realizing they must have nothing else to live for if they're answering calls for the 'kimpire'. Mass suicides a day later ensue. Talk about global population control, if your business actually took flight for more than a week.
    Notice the 'you take care of the rest while I sit back and gloat over yet another dumbass fooled'. has over 50.000 unique visitors every day. If you'd like to be a sponsor or partner on or the Kimpire,
    No, not ever, don't ask, don't offer. Please die.

    *insert lots of other "Hey, if you can do this or are interested in this, let me know so I can rip off your work for free" things including but not limited to PR managers, Graphics Designers, Web Designers, Flash Designers, Kimpire tools, Graffiti Sprayers, Writers*

    You're a dumbass. And so is anyone who falls for this.

    Really laughable stuff
    If you know cool words that include "KIM", send them. Some examples: Kimpire, Kimply the Best, Kimasutra, Kimmercial, Kimpany, Kimvestor, Kim Kong, Mission Kimpossible, Kimsalabim, etc. The best words will make it to the upcoming release of the Kimpire Lexicon.
    AHAHAHAHAHAHA, holy **** (there, that's two E_S!) that's hilarious. Kimasutra! I can't believe it. India's about to burn you at the stake for desecration of THAT word. Let me know where this Kimpire Lexicon will be. Maybe me and some others will ensure that all Kim-idiots will die in one fell swoop (taken in jest, of course).

    I'll stop there considering this is already a literal novel. Go to and laugh at the rest. This guy's unbelievable. It looks like a failed dot-com that never made it big and he's still trying. Maybe he will, then I can read it on www.**** One can hope.
    I do apologize if this came out too long but I found it GREAT to laugh at. Immense stress relief.
    We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that we are now qualified to do just about anything with almost nothing.

  5. #5

    Thumbs up

    lol @ Vorlin... Good thread relpy...


  6. #6
    Old-Fogey:Addicts founder Terr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Seattle, WA
    Darn, you didn't leave much left over The whole bit about how proceeds are given to the people in the hall of fame... and then how only top-contributors get into the hall of fame... Is it just me, or does this sound like the little guy gets ripped off, eh? I wonder if it would be possible to call down the wrath of the SEC/FTA or related other-nation agencies upon the site... I'll look at the lameness more later.
    [HvC]Terr: L33T Technical Proficiency

  7. #7
    Forgotten Ghost RogueSpy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Now thats what I call a good reply to a post. . . . Not short & sweet like mine are. GJ Vorlin. See ya in IRC.
    "Never give in-never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy!" - Winston Churchill

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    I visited this web site, and all I can say is "OH MY ****ING GOD!!!!!" This guy claims to be a millionaire hacker huh. Well guess what, he is broke as a joke. Check out this link on this fool.

    This guy is a bad name to all that we are and I hope he goes down with his yacht
    Wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things.
    --Ecclesiastes 10:19

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    I did one thing when I read through the site. I laughed. I laughed hard. I laughed very hard.

    If I didn't think it before, I definitely do now, some people need to be put away for the crime of idiocy... I feel like my estimation of the IQ of humanity was off by a few dozen points.
    Chris Shepherd
    The Nelson-Shepherd cutoff: The point at which you realise someone is an idiot while trying to help them.
    \"Well as far as the spelling, I speak fluently both your native languages. Do you even can try spell mine ?\" -- Failed Insult
    Is your whole family retarded, or did they just catch it from you?

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002

    Thumbs down

    All I can say is "What a moron". May The Cookie Tux jump up and bite you on the ass Mr. 1337 H@I<eR Kimble. This guy is just over the top in stupidity. If he's so good, why did he not prevent the Fluffy Bunny from ****i$#% his site up. Then he did'nt even have the skill to hunt him down. Instead he puts a bounty on his head.

    I give this guy the Jester award for being an idiot...Ta da...
    The COOKIE TUX lives!!!!
    Windows NT crashed,I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.

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