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Thread: If AOL Made Cars

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2001

    Talking If AOL Made Cars

    I got this joke from here
    If AOL Made Cars

    The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.

    The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.

    The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later. and later.....and later....and oh forget it.

    The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.

    AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.

    Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.

    The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots of pretty colors and lights.

    The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.

    Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.

    If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.

    The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.

    AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.

    AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair, but they'd be available 24 hours a day to screw up your car!

    Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun. Punt this! but Officer....I WAS driving on the road.. I don't know what happened... next thing I knew I was off the highway!

    It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.

    AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.

    Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age? Car wouldn't come with profile feature...oh no!

    It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.

    AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are. Some compacts would claim to be Limos...

    AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.

    Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    lmao, that is hilarious bud.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    roflmao roflmao

    thanks for that wonderful post

    so VERY true

    gonna spam thgis now to all my friends


  4. #4

  5. #5
    That's a rip off of this one:

    At a recent computer expo, COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the
    computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with
    technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
    cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
    driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
    new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
    have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
    off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.

    For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
    car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
    reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
    five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
    percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
    replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light, or a "You
    have performed an illegal operation".

    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
    refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
    the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
    drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
    manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

  6. #6
    AntiOnline Senior Medicine Man
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Ah laughter.... feelings of happiness displayed in a audio format.
    It is better to be HATED for who you are, than LOVED for who you are NOT.

    THC/IP Version 4.2

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