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February 17th, 2002, 12:44 AM
#1
Stupid Questions for Smart People
More of these can be found here
* How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
* How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?
* How do you get off a nonstop flight?
* How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
* How do you throw away a garbage can?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work
in the mornings?
* How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
* If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear
his Walkman?
* If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it considered a
ham-hock?
* If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless, naked, or both?
* If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people
wear earmuffs?
* If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
* If I save time, when do I get it back?
* If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the
rabbit?
* If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants
over his trousers?
* If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales
look like the way they do?
* If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
* If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
* If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
* If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
* If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
* If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
* If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
* If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several
times, does he become disoriented?
* If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
* Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they
taste funny?
* Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw
hamburgers?
* Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy
javelin thrower?
* What do people in China call their good plates?
* What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?
* What do you call a male ladybug?
* What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
* What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
* What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where
do you tell them to go?
* What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
* What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need
cheese shredders?
* When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
* When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?
* When they first invented the clock, how did they know
what time it was to set it to?
* Where are the germs that cause good
breath?
* Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?
* Why are all blackboards called that when some of them
are green?
* Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
* Why are they called "stands" when they
are made for sitting?
* Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?
* Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn't the
company just hire taller dancers?
* Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
* Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?
* Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
* Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are
already there?
* Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?
* Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic...
shouldn't they already know you're coming?
* Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
* Why don't they just use fattest man in the world for a
hockey goalie?
* Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
* Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
* Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
* Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
* Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, put he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
* Dumb Question: If your scared half to death twice, what happens?
I removed the original caption of 'Questions only dumb people would ask', Because I've asked half of these questions
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