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Thread: Jokes for Thursday

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001

    Talking Jokes for Thursday

    As it's Thursday, nearing the weekend, here's two funnies from my inbox.


    A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests.The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.

    Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach.

    He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?"

    He went back to gathering the snails.

    All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together.

    At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!"
    He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to
    his apartment.
    He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time.

    He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on lads, not far now!"


    A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas.
    When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "But I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother".

    The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect) "Anything?" he asked.
    "Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.

    "Well then, just follow me", said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.

    "Come in and close the door" the man said.
    She did.

    He then said "Now get on your knees".
    She did.

    "Now take down my zipper".
    She did.

    "Now go ahead ... take it out ...." he said.
    She reached in and grabbed it with both hands ... then paused.

    The man closed his eyes and whispered "Well... go ahead".
    The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it ..and while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said...........

    "Hello, mum can you hear me?"

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    good laugh..keep up the post!
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  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    ha ha good ones.

    More good jokes here if anbody's interested.
    If you don\'t learn the rules nobody can accuse of cheating.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Do you know why women have legs?

    so they wont leave a trail of slime after themselves like the snails do
    Dear Santa, I liked the mp3 player I got but next christmas I want a SA-7 surface to air missile

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    lol funny ****, Pooh-Bear

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Funny shiznit!
    I know you\'re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you\'re afraid. You\'re afraid of us. You\'re afraid of change. I don\'t know the future. I didn\'t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it\'s going to begin. I\'m going to hang up this phone, and then I\'m going to show these people what you don\'t want them to see. I\'m going to show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    hahhahaa ho ho ho ho ho ..ohh man that was really great...
    thanks for the fun..
    keep up the good work..

    A laptop, internet connection and beer.

  8. #8
    Do you know why men have larger brains than dogs?

    to stop them humping your leg at dinner parties!


  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Love the source of that quote VH.

    P.S. Valhallen from the Justice Friends?


    Pierce me with steel, rend me with claw and fang; as I die, a legend is born for another generation to follow.
    An\' it harm none, do as ye will. - Wiccan Rede

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