And now for something completely different ...

[BrainStop]

TOP 10 Times in History, When Using the F Word was Appropriate:
10 most appropriate occasions in history for use of the F word:

10th - "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC

9th - "How the @#$% did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC

8th - "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566

7th - "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877

6th - "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926

5th - "Where the @#$% am I?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937

4th - "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938

3rd - "What the @#$% was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

2nd - "I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head!" JFK,1963

And,.....drum roll........ The number 1 most appropriate time for using the
"F" word.............

"Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"- Bill Clinton, 1997

[ihsir]

lol

have read before but funny everytime you read it

[thesecretfire]

bad brainstop, bad!!!! You led me into this thread with the promise of monty python, and you didn't deliever. No cookie, NO COOKIE!!!!!!11

[Tigger]

thats a good one

[THE-OMEN]

Wheres the monty python i was expecting.

Oh well here i go

We are the knights who say NI


NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI

Now bring me a shrubbery.

And Brian aint the messiah he's a very naughty boy now piss off.


As you can see im bored

[dolemite]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok.
I work all night and I sleep all day.


I want my refund no Monty here.

[BrainStop]

Mea Culpa Maxima, Bruces! Here's the refund:

Second Bruce: G'day, Bruce!

First Bruce: Oh, Hello Bruce!

Third Bruce: How are you Bruce?

First Bruce: A bit crook, Bruce.

Second Bruce: Where's Bruce?

First Bruce: He's not 'ere, Bruce.

Third Bruce: Blimey, it's hot in here, Bruce.

First Bruce: Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!

Second Bruce: That's a strange expression, Bruce.

First Bruce: Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty," he said and she smiled quietly to herself.

Third Bruce: She's a good Sheila Bruce, and not at all stuck up.

Second Bruce: Here! Here's the boss-fellow now! - how are you bruce?

(Enter fourth Bruce with English person, Michael)

Fourth Bruce: 'Ow are you, Bruce?

First Bruce: G'day Bruce!

Fourth Bruce: Bruce.

Second Bruce: Hello Bruce.

Fourth Bruce: Bruce.

Third Bruce: How are you, Bruce?

Fourth Bruce: G'day Bruce.

Fourth Bruce: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo.

Everybruce: G'day!

Michael: Hello.

Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.

First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?

Michael: No, it's Michael.

Second Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion.

Third Bruce: Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?

Fourth Bruce: Gentlemen, I think we better start the faculty meeting. Before we start, though, I'd like to ask the padre for a prayer.

First Bruce: Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!!

Everybruce: Amen!

Fourth Bruce: Crack tubes! (Sound of cans opening) Now I call upon Bruce to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the philosophy faculty.

Second Bruce: I'd like to welcome the pommey bastard to God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-beaks here.

Everybruce: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Bruce!

Fourth Bruce: Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Haegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.

Third Bruce: What's New-Bruce going to teach?

Fourth Bruce: New-Bruce will be teaching political science, Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett, and Benaud.

Second Bruce: Those are all cricketers!

Fourth Bruce: Aww, spit!

Third Bruce: Hails of derisive laughter, Bruce!

Everybruce: Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you amen!

Fourth Bruce:Bruce: Crack tube! (Sound of cans opening) Any questions?

Second Bruce: New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?

Fourth Bruce: Are you a Poofter?

Michael: No!

Fourth Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One!

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching. Rule Three?

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five,

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule Seven,

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Bruce.

First Bruce: This here's the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand.

Everybruce: Amen!

(And now all four Bruces launch into the Philosopher's song)

Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.
And Whittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
And Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

Cheers,

BrainStop

[dolemite]

Now, that's a refund.

[SarinMage]

haha nice, i have a parrot for sale....

[jcmcb]

We are no longer the knights who say Ni...

We are now the knights who say Icky Icky Ptang Ptang Zoo Wom!

its an ex parrot!