Funny list of man things...

[qwerty_smith]

this is perfect timing.
ive been having a bit of a time with me significant other... over four or five of these.
seeing that i am not the only one out there may strengthen my argument.
thankyou.

[jaguar291]

This is great, think I'm going to frame this.

[marit]

Ask me what Yzerman's number is...i can remember that.....don't ask me what your birthday is....how do you make a next day b!tch?.....i can make one :P.....don't ask me to cook you dinner......where's your makeup?.....propping up my computer table.......don't ask me how to put that stuff on.......why do i get tats?......i love the rush.....why do women pluck eyebrows....*boggle*

[GreekGoddess]

25. The Rosie O'Donnell Show is approximately one hour long. Depending on the time of day it comes on where you live, this would be the perfect time to mow the lawn, weed the garden, tinker with the car, or any of the 20 other things we have to constantly remind you to do.

24. A Barbecue outside on the patio does not constitute a fine dinner out. (Citronella Candles do NOT set a romantic mood, either)

23. Dress to impress once in awhile. You never know, you may actually like all the other women ogling you from afar.

22. Go on, admit it. You secretly like us calling you at work.

21. Shorts and black socks with sandals is NOT sexy.

20. While we all should be in the spirit of recycling, shouldn't you give up wearing the "ripped to shreads" underwear, even if all the holes are worn just so?

19. We already know what you are thinking. Sometimes we just need clarification.

18. Don't complain about OUR vast array of shoes, and we won't pick on you about YOUR vast collection of "sneakers for every occasion".

17. Things you can help with scrubbing the bathroom, fixing things that don't need to be fixed, holding the instruction manuals while we put the new things together, and lighting a fire.

16. Shopping IS a spectator sport, and you are the lucky spectator. Accept this harsh reality, as will we when the roles reverse, say, at the local sporting goods store.

15. While the lingerie with strategic openings appeals to you, most of the time we pray the store will exchange it for something more comfortable when you're not looking.

14. How is it that men seem to lose their way to the laundry room after marriage? We know you did it before you married us, we've seen the pink underwear.

13. Sports Center comes on roughly every six hours. Plus they have continuous updates during every hour. If you miss something due to us talking to you, chances are you'll hear all about it in another 15 or so minutes, so relax.

12. We appreciate your input on most issues, but our Soap Operas aren't one of them. We already know she's the evil one, and he's screwing around. A recap complete with intervals of "I can't believe you're making me watch this" are unnecessary.

11. We know you watch Baywatch for the fine acting skills of the actors and actresses.

10. Even though you think Pamela Anderson is a babe, don't expect us to agree.

9. Women have a better sense of direction than men. Accept it.

8. When lost, getting out and asking for directions is okay. Driving around aimlessly and swearing is not.

7. Cut us some slack when we ask you questions about how sports are played and the rules. Help us understand these games better. Consider it your civic duty.

6. Beer burps are not considered a second language, even if you CAN burp the alphabet.

5. Towels dry faster when they are hung up on the towel rod, not crumpled on the floor.

4. Take time to smell the flowers. Then bring some home to remind us how much you care.

3. Psst... We're only lending you the remote... If you have kids, you know who really owns that T.V.

2. We really are the sex crazed maniacs you fell in love with. Just reset your clock to our female standard time, and you'll see what I mean.

1. Finally, don't show us where the oil goes, or the washer fluid, or even how to fix a car. This is one of the many reasons we married you.

[JCHostingAdmin]

Get aload of some of these that my girlfriend sent me.

1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy
listening.
3. Don't say you understand when you don't.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is ALWAYS the Prettiest!
5. You don't have PMS; don't *****in act like you know what it's
like.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing
something sweet will always get you off the hook.
7. If you talk about having a big D1ck; we know you don't.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want real
relationships.
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.

11. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't,
apologize.
14. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
16. We are DrAmA queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. Don't ask us to give u head; if you are nice you just
might get it.
19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car
systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about... in other words shut the fu*k up
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
21.We don't shave our legs everyday so get over it.
22. Don't make bets about us; we will always find out.
23. Shave; no matter how cool you think your goatee or
beard or mustache looks, we always hate it.
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emitt
other strange gases from your body, itisnt, so DONT..
25. Don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson's; hers
are fake, just remember that. ( u have a better shot at ours than you ever
will with hers, you may as well give it up now)
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
27. We are beautiful at all times.
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us
we aren't.
29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat
guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss
in the toilet and not on it.
30. Most importantly: we are always right; so don't forget
it.

[dedklown]

finally!...y'all think THEY would get the point by now....

[Cyberlord]

That's a big true man.
But I dont think any girl could understand something like that. LOL.

[LoggOff]

Originally posted here by GreekGoddess
18. Don't complain about OUR vast array of shoes, and we won't pick on you about YOUR vast collection of "sneakers for every occasion".

i take offence to that, us guys dont have alot of shoes....... i mean...... damnit, i only have 2 pair of combat boots (cause i gave away the third), work boots (steal toes are a must), running shoes (for dust collection), work shoes (that thing that you always call in sick to cause you have a headache), dress shoes (the ones you always want me to wear on a date), comfy shoes (that i wear all the time and stink), sandals (tho there under the bed), night slippers (yes the ones you bought me that i never wear cause i dispise them cause there pink and YOU think thats cute), and socks (yes, socks ARE a form of shoes, after a while they become just as stiff as the rubber on my combat boots as long as you dont try and be halpfull and wash out all my hard work)

1, 2, 3,...... damnit, point taken!

[JCHostingAdmin]

Awesome Signature, Loggoff! I wanted to say that technically, except for loggoff ( lol ), guys only have maybe 3-4 pairs of shoes. And I doubt women count socks.

[LoggOff]

i dont see why not, i mean my socks tend to be able to stand up on their own before my mom comes and takes them all away