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Thread: Signs of bein too drunk

  1. #1

    Signs of bein too drunk

    Signs That You Are Too Drunk

    You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

    You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

    Job interfering with your drinking.

    Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

    Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

    The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

    Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

    Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

    You can focus better with one eye closed.

    The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

    You fall off the floor...

    Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

    Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

    Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

    At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

    Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

    You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.

    The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

    You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and [Women or Men].

    Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

    Roseanne looks good.

    Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

    That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

    Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.

    I'm as jober as a sudge.

    The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

    You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.

  2. #2
    Doc d00dz Attackin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Hey Everyone,
    Rofl.... Great post TwistedSnyper.... Going to print this and put it on my funny people keep up the good work!!!!!!!!
    First you listen, then you do, finally you teach.
    Duck Hunting Chat

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    LOL .... nice job Twisted ....

  4. #4
    Thx man took me a while to think of shyt to say to put on there. I like my ending result. -Twisted-

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

    Damn...I feel that way right now...
    Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes"; They will say, "Women don't have what it takes".
    Clare Boothe Luce

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    cool. Keep it up Twisted.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
    Thats good..

    Roseanne looks good.
    And to think i used to watch that show, and actually liked it.

  8. #8
    You fall off the floor...

    *ROFL* Very Good joke Twisted. Bt fel out of my chair laughing when i read it

  9. #9
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    ummm, evil are you pretending to not be snyper??
    AIM: TwistedSnyper

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