Research Paper: Smoking

[scriptkiddie18]

Im doing this research paper for my english class about smoking which is due in couple of days...
I have no one to proof read it so I'm asking the people who have time to take a look at it and please let me know if you think it needs corrections at any spot...
The research paper in this post is only my rough draft which is due tomorow and the final is due on wednesday...the paper is still missing some quotes from a book, magazine, newspaper and internet and the conlusion is missing also...but i just wanted to see how im doin til now
thank you all
peace

btw its a word file and had to zip it

[cheyenne1212]

I've only gone through two paragraphs, but I've italicized what I've corrected.

I'll probably finish some more of it later.

Sorry if I'm a bit overboard, by English Teacher wore off on me. lol

[MemorY]

here you go, i corrected some spelling errors and sentence formatting.

[scriptkiddie18]

cheyenne...

The consequence is that the person will likely be addicted to the cigarettes and will live their life with something they do not really need. (what won’t they really need?)

isnt it obvious the cigarettes

/edit
ok lets say it isnt right how would you change the sentence?

[scriptkiddie18]

Sorry for posting twice but couldn't edit my post and attach a file
anyways...here is the new thing i corrected some of the seguestions you two made
I still need to interview my dad cause he is a big time smoker and include some of it in a paragraph and then make the conclusion.

/edit
wow thanks hypronix...
i thought i would post twice and while i made my reply you posted and i didnt post twice in a row... so i edited my post saying "or not double post" at the end of my msg...then i saved the changes and then you had your post delted...so i had 2 in a row rofl

[hypronix]

I have made some additions to cheyenne's version. Hope this helps.

[cheyenne1212]

What I meant by that SK was you say they will loive their life with something they don't need.

If I were you I would make it like this.

The consequence is that the person will likely be addicted to the cigarettes and will live their life with something they do not really need, cigarettes.

Just my suggestion though.

[scriptkiddie18]

The survey has also shown people who never smoked a cigarette or who just did not like it, but those were only about ??? only about what?

OK OK that is it rofl...now all of ya three has mentioned this one and ill tell you why it is like this...
It was 1AM today when i did it and didnt feel like counting the surveys...hope question answered

btw nice points hypronix but how can i change this one...

The result is that the person will likely be addicted to the cigarettes and will live their life with something they do not really need. (what won’t they really need?) (and for what – makes you argument somewhat stronger)

[MemorY]

If I were you I would make it like this.

The consequence is that the person will likely be addicted to the cigarettes and will live their life with something they do not really need, cigarettes. People have kids and they need to realize that they put them in danger by smoking inside the house. -- something like that.

[cheyenne1212]

Ok I kinda redid the first paragraph a little bit.

A cigarette is the kind of thing which causes health problems even death among our societies, which are constantly perpetrated by tobacco companies. Many people begin smoking as teenagers and some later in life, but every smoker will face the same consequences no matter how many cigarettes the person has smoked. The consequence being that the person addicted to the cigarettes will live their life with something they do not really need, cigarettes. As we all know, cigarettes cause many problems for people; these problems include (list known problems)

Next paragraph

Somethink like that would work I think.

See you say that we live with someting we don't need, yet you give us no evidence as to why we don't need it.

Trust me on this. I've been through this to many times in college. lol