Engineers

[devpon]

>>Subject: Understanding Engineers.
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take One
>
>Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did
>you get such a great bike?"
>
>The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
>minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
>threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
>what you want."
>
>The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
>probably wouldn't have fit."
>
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>
>To the optimist, the glass is half full.
>
>To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
>
>To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>
>
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>
>A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>particularly slow group of golfers.
>
>The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting
>for 15 minutes!"
>
>The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
>ineptitude!"
>
>The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word
>with him."
>
>"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather
>slow, aren't they?"
>
>The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
>firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
>year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
>
>The group was silent for a moment.
>
>The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
>for them tonight."
>
>The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
>ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
>
>The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
>
>
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>
>What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil engineers?
>
>Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
>
>
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>
>The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>
>The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>
>The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
>
>The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
>that?"
>
>
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>
>Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
>possible designers of the human body.
>
>One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."
>
>Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
>has many thousands of electrical connections."
>
>The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would
>run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
>
>
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>
>"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
>
>Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>features yet"
>
>
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
>
>An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
>better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
>
>The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
>foundation for an enduring relationship.
>
>The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion
>and mystery he found there.
>
>The engineer said, "I like both."
>
>"Both?"
>
>"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
>spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
>work done."
>
>
>
>Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
>
>An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
>and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
>
>He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>
>The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
>a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
>
>The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
>it to the pocket.
>
>The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
>
>Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
>his pocket.
>
>Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything
>you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>
>The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

[M3mph15]

good but next time try avoiding the >>>>> things