Nice quotes & jokes

[gizmofreak]

> > Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that
> > > some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
>
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two
> > > years.
> > > --Sam Kinison
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive
> > > answers that your wife will give you for free.
> > > --Anonymous
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > Bachelors know more about women than married men; if
> > > they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they
> > > marry later;for another thing, they die earlier. --H.
> > > L. Mencken
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > "A man without a woman is like a fish without a
> > > bicycle."
> > > - U2
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her
> > > way back to home always. --Anonymous
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
> > > anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!"
> > > I told her, "How about the kitchen?" --Anonymous
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> &g t; > We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was
> > > only for the estimate. --Anonymous
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.Then
> > > the mud fell off. --Anonymous
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too
> > > late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I
> > > yelled, "No, jump in." --Anonymous
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to
> > > get to married. He says "the wedding rings look like
> > > minature handcuffs....." --Anonymous
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
> > > yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The
> > > Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after u let him
> > > in!
> > > --Anonymous
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
> > > parted mother and started back toward his car when his
> > > attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a
> > > grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound
> > > intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die?
> > > Why did you have to die?"
> > > The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't
> > > wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
> > > demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen > > > before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A
> > > parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself,
> > > then replied "My wife's first husband."
> > > -------------------------------------------------------
> > > A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
> > > leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife
> > > decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too
> > > much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was
> > > stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works!

[w0lverine]

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die?
Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to nterfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself,then replied "My wife's first husband."

Lol it's hilerious

P.S hey gizmo at least make some effort and remove those >>> after copying it from your mail box let me tell you a fast way paste it in a wordpad and then in Edit->Replace replace > with Blank.

[gizmofreak]

i guess that wont make the joke les hilarios,so what the hell just ENJOY

[saintakaagni]

i fell laughing after reading it and next dont put the >> please

[M3mph15]

cool quotes yeah you can avoid the > next time

[riya_here]

hey, me just wondering, but i often see more indian replies in this forum... than any other forum... any particular reason??
no offences...
well, the jokes were really nice!!

[whizkid2300]

Riya there is no real reason, more then it is bad practise to reply to all the jokes you see or most of them with "haha", "funny" etc... Most other people have been here longer and have been bitched at for doing that. Well that is what I guess. Could be wrong.

[riya_here]

nice thought whizkid... worth giving a thought!!