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Thread: Joke signatures

  1. #1
    Regal Making Handler
    Join Date
    Jun 2002

    Joke signatures

    Found a few joke signatures you all may find amuseing, here are a few:

    One liners. Lot's of 'em. 'nuff said.

    Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.

    Now that food has replaced my sex life, I can't even get into my own pants!

    Happiness is like peeing yourself, everyone can see it but only u can feel its warmth!

    On a scale between one to ten, you're an idiot!

    "A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno

    "Alex, I'll take 'Things Only I Know' for $200"

    "An Australian relief effort is knitting sweaters to protect the feathers of penguins who are being affected by an oil spill. The sweaters are being refused by many penguins who'd rather die then dress casual." - Conan O'Brien

    "AOL for Dummies" is kind of redundant, don't you think?

    "I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!" - Homer Simpson

    "If these pills don't stop the kleptomania," said the psychiatrist, "try and get me a nice video camera."

    "It's all coming back to me now", said the blind man as he peed into the wind.

    "Nearly everything you read signed "from God" is just somebody putting their words in My mouth." - God

    "Streakers *repant* your end is in sight."

    "The game of catch has never been so fun!" - inventor of the hand grenade.

    "What do you take me for, an idiot?" - General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy

    ' 'Tis a brave man who wears the kilt in January.' --Scottish saying

    'Bother!' said Pooh, as he uncovered a hive of Smurfs.

    'I'm not sure who he is, but I've heard he's got his hand in a lot of things.'- Kermit The Frog, about Jim Henson.

    'Veni, Vidi, Velcro' - I came, I saw, I stuck around.

    'When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.' - Chuck Norris

    37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent.

    47.5% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

    5 out of 4 people don't understand fractions.

    60% of Americans say that, if they could push a button that would make Larry King disappear, they would keep pushing it and not stop.

    Here is a link to the source:

  2. #2
    Elite Hacker
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    "AOL for Dummies" is kind of redundant, don't you think?
    lol, that's my fav of them. Thanks for sharing.

  3. #3
    Yeah cheers, they were awesome, mind if i steal one???

    Must admit the 2 that made me laugh the most were these.
    Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
    On a scale between one to ten, you're an idiot!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Pacific Northwest
    Great stuff,

    gonna visit the site and grab some more. I really like the:

    47.5% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    Because not only is it funny, but I bet it's true 95 percent of the

    Thanks for the laugh


  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    n here's few i heard a lot n love too:

    'Education haven't ruined anyone, but y to take risk'
    'Smoking kills you slowly, but whos in hurry!!'
    Now is the moment, or NEVER!!!

  6. #6
    Leftie Linux Lover the_JinX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Beverwijk Netherlands
    some of my favorites..

    $100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at which time it will be worth absolutely nothing. -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"

    There are three things I always forget. Names, faces -- the third I can't remember. -- Italo Svevo

    Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. -- Frank Zappa

    Personifiers Unite! You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity!

    there are 11 types of people in the world..
    those who know binary,
    those who don't..
    and those who fake it !

    and my all time favorite..
    ASCII stupid question get a stupid ANSI
    ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
    When in Russia, pet a PETSCII.

    Get your ass over to SLAYRadio the best station for C64 Remixes !

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