Washington DC (AP) May 7, 2004 - Senators John McCain (R-Arizona) and Bob Graham (D-Florida) have sponsored a bill that they think will settle many of the problems that the US is facing in the Middle-East. The bill would add 3 more states to the union. Iraq, Afghanistan and Puerto Rico would become the 51st, 52nd and 53rd states respectively. Although Puerto Rico has previously excluded itself from statehood, progress in negotiations started to bear fruition when rumors circulated that Iraq and Afghanistan would become states. Puerto Rico did not want to be left behind in this momentous endeavor.

When asked why they are sponsoring this bill, Senator McCain answered, "The United States has been accused of being anti-Muslim, anti-Arab and pro-Israel for too many years. So Senator Graham and I decided to prove to the world that we, the great people of America, can be brothers to people of all ethnic backgrounds and religions". When asked, if the sudden influx of Muslims would cause a problem with the Christian majority of the US, Senator McCain answered, "No, of course not. This country has always had a wall of separation between church and state. Besides, President Bush will be happy to provide religious training through the many Christian charitable organizations that he is so fond of and has funded through executive order."

Senator Graham then remarked, "I am sure that my constituency in the great state of Florida will be happy that Puerto Rico with such a similar culture to many parts of Florida, will add to the already Spanish flavor of our great nation."

The bill is seen as having a very good chance of passing in the Senate, but there are some Liberal and Conservatives in the House who have yet to sign on to this novel idea. When asked if he expected tough sledding in the House, Senator McCain answered, "We can never guess what the future holds in the house, but I expect when the members of the House on both sides of the aisle see the fruits of this historic advancement, we will prevail."

When reached for comment, President Bush responded, "I don't see how we can get 53 stars on the flag."