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Thread: Post Your "Insensitive and Uninformed" French Jokes Here!

  1. #11
    Senior Member nihil's Avatar
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    From some grunt outfit, don't quite understand it myself


    Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked
    by a rabid Rottweiler.

    Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the
    nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the
    dog's neck.

    A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to
    interview the boy. "Young Forty Niners' Fan Saves Friend From Vicious
    Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Niners fan,"
    the little hero replied.

    "Sorry, since we are in San Francisco I just assumed you were." said the reporter
    and starts again. "Little Oakland Raiders' Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack"
    he continued writing in his notebook.

    "I'm not a Raiders fan either," the boy said.

    "I assumed everyone in the Bay Area was either for the Niners or Raiders. What
    team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

    "I'm a Cowboys fan." the child said.

    The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,

    "Little Redneck Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."

  2. #12
    Senior Member nihil's Avatar
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    USAMC God bless them

    One day, a large group of people were waiting for the bus at a local
    Greyhound station. At the front of the line was a very attractive woman
    dressed in a black business vest, white blouse, leather miniskirt, and
    high heels.

    As the bus pulled up and opened the door, she went to board it, but found
    that her skirt was too tight for her to raise her leg to the required
    height. Looking around and thinking quickly, she reaches behind her and
    unzips the zipper on the back of her skirt a little and then tries again.

    Again, she finds that she cannot maneuver the step, so once more she
    reaches behind her and unzips her skirt a little more. With a smile, she
    looks at the bus driver and tries to board again. With disappointment, she
    finds that she still can't step that high and so with exasperation and a
    sigh she unzips her skirt the rest of the way down. To her amazement, her
    leg still will not reach the bottom step.

    Finally, a very large Texan behind her gently grabs her by the waist,
    lifts her up, and places her on the bus.

    The woman turns to the Texan furious and says, "Who do you think you are
    to touch my body in that way? I don't even know you!"

    Nonplused, the Texan looks at her and replies, "Well, ma'am, after you
    unzipped my fly I thought we were pretty good friends."

    Hmmmmmmmm........I know I claim to have 30+ year's experience..........I am trying to remember when I did any real work

  3. #13
    Senior Member OverdueSpy's Avatar
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    LOL Nihil. That's the spirit. I'm glad to see someone understanding the concept.

    Unlike SDK who must not have read the intro.

    The mentally handicaped are persecuted in this great country, and I say rightfully so! These people are NUTS!!!!

  4. #14
    Senior Member RoadClosed's Avatar
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    Lol, Nihil going crazy on the American side. I am American/European I take offense. (except in California, that drivers license thing was a hoot and a holler. Ye haw.

    From some grunt outfit, don't quite understand it myself
    Golden Gate park is in San Francisco, where the 49'ers are (A. Football) so the kid says he's not a fan 49er fan, so the reproter calls him an Oakland Raiders Fan (A.Football, and Tiger Sharks sad little avatar ) at this point the kid is a hero, you can see Oakland from San Francisco across the bay, quite amazing scenery actually. So the kid says he's a Cowboys fan (yes again A. football) who are from TEXAS, so instantly the perception is he is a red neck. EVERYONE knows in California that the rest of the US is just a bunch of red neck *******s, especially Texas. So the kids become the villains and the dog who was once "vicious" is now a "beloved pet"

    Pretty funny actually. Football fans will like it. The "Raiders" are well hated among the rest of rednecktopia.
    West of House
    You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
    There is a small mailbox here.

  5. #15
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    Several years ago I used to work for this gentleman who was originally from Romania. We were in his office one day talking and he asked me where I was from originally. I told him I was born in West Virginia. He asked me if it was true what they said about West Virginia.
    "About the incest?", I asked.
    "Yes.", he replied.
    "It's been known to happen.", I said.
    He said "You know, I heard about that back in the Old Country".
    Every man has his price. Mine is $3.95.

  6. #16
    AO Ancient: Team Leader
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    Road:

    Tiger Sharks sad little avatar
    I know where you live young man!!!!!!

    So, there's this American kid out with his girlfriend in Pennsylvania. After the movie he manages to get her in the back seat of the car and starts necking away. Gingerly, he pops a hand on the old breast and doesn't get slapped. So he let's it drop a bit and still isn't being stopped. Figuring he'll "go for gold" he slides off her undies at which point she whispers tenderly in his ear...

    "kiss me where it smells".....

    Somewhat disappointed he stops what he is doing, hands her back her undies and drives her to New Jersey.
    Don\'t SYN us.... We\'ll SYN you.....
    \"A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.\" - Thucydides

  7. #17
    Senior Member RoadClosed's Avatar
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    I know where you live young man!!!!!!
    Ah ****. Go Raiders! (coughs on his own distaste) Hey come to a Broncos vs. Raiders game sometime at Mile High. Fun stuff!
    West of House
    You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
    There is a small mailbox here.

  8. #18
    gogo toogle.com and type french military victories and the hit "im feeling lucky"
    it suggests french military defeats
    hehe
    if you have time be sure to drop my my website at www.johnscompany.net

  9. #19
    AO Ancient: Team Leader
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    Road:

    Hey come to a Broncos vs. Raiders game sometime at Mile High.
    It's a tad more fun at the Network Associates Coliseum...

    There is a picture attached. To explain it....

    That is myself and my two brothers last season at the Oakland Minnesota game, (Oakland won..... Just for us we think... ) The brother on the right flew from London for this game and the Monday night game between the Steelers and the 49ers. The brother on the left flew from Jakarta, Indonesia for this and the good looking chap in the middle flew from sunny Detroit.

    This was the first time the three of us had been all together in the same place for more than 24 hours in over 18 years.... I have other pictures..... But they all contain alcohol in some form.... It was a weekend of beer and football..... A good time was had by all.... except Vikings and Steelers fans.....
    Don\'t SYN us.... We\'ll SYN you.....
    \"A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.\" - Thucydides

  10. #20
    Senior Member nihil's Avatar
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    Talking One for SDK

    A gentleman leaves a Monmatre (Paris) nightclub to walk back to his appartment.

    On the way he is taken by a sudden "call of nature" so steps into a doorway to relieve himself.

    A passing gendarme (cop) walks by and says:

    "Defence de pisser"

    The gentleman replies:

    "Je ne piss pas, je m'abuse"

    The gendarme replies:

    "Ah! vive le sport"

    Oh well I did promise Simon a French joke?


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