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Thread: 5 days to come...???

  1. #1

    5 days to come...???

    Love is in the air. My wife already gave me my valentines day card with a certificate for a massage.

    I thought this was funny and can't resist sharing. I don't think I'll use it, but wish I could. So, I'll share with you!

    These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the MOST romantic first line... but the LEAST romantic second line. I'd love to see a Valentine card with one of these cuties.......

    1. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
    But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

    2. Thought that I could love no other
    Until, that is, I met your brother.

    3. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

    4. Of loving beauty you float with grace
    If only you could hide your face.

    5. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
    This describes everything you are not.

    6. I want to feel your sweet embrace
    But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

    7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
    Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

    8. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
    Marrying you screwed up my life.

    9. I see your face when I am dreaming.
    That's why I always wake up screaming.

    10. My love, you take my breath away.
    What have you stepped in to smell this way.

    11. My feelings for you no words can tell,
    Except for maybe "go to hell"

    12. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
    Two parts vodka, one part lime.


  2. #2
    Senior Member Deeboe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Oh @tt!tud3! You melted my heart! J/K.

    Here is a little poem, from me to AO.
    Since My Valentine Got A Computer

    Since my Valentine got a computer,
    My love life has taken a hit.
    Nothing I say is important,
    Unless itís a byte or a bit.

    Before she got her new laptop,
    Everything was just fine;
    Now she says we canít talk
    Unless we both go online.

    "But honey," I said, "Iím attached to you;
    Love is what I feel."
    "That keyword isnít relevant,"
    She said, with eyes of steel.

    She clicked the keyboard furiously;
    The screen was all she could see,
    And then to my horror and shame,
    She started describing me:

    "Your motherboard needs upgrading;
    Your OS needs help, too.
    And you definitely need a big heatsink
    To cool your CPU."

    "Donít flame me, my sweet," I pleaded.
    "Not on Valentineís Day."
    "Fix the bugs, and Iíll see," she said,
    While looking at me with dismay.

    "What ever you want, my darling;
    Whatever you need; you call it.
    Iíll upload or download anything,
    And then Iíll go install it."

    (Her hostile CD keeps replaying,
    And though I donít want to fight her,
    Is this what I want for a Valentine?
    Iíve been burned; can I rewrite her?)

    "Are you all hard drive now," I asked;
    "Is there no software in you?
    Donít you remember the good times?
    Let our memories see us through."

    "LOL," she said to me, chuckling.
    "Youíre nothing but adware.
    Iíve got a gig of memory;
    Iíve got no problem there."

    "Please, honey, we can save it," I said.
    "Our love means more than that."
    "Thatís not in my cache; weíre going to crash,"
    She said, as she turned me down flat.

    (This woman has really changed;
    Do I really want to chase her?
    More and more Iím thinking
    It might be nice to erase her.)

    "Aw, honey, donít talk like that," I said.
    "Canít we just plug and play?
    I hereby accept default,
    And Iím yours, my love, come what may.

    "My goal is to make you happy;
    I want to be your portal,
    But your sudden, distant coldness
    Would test the strongest mortal.

    "If we need a brand new interface,
    So we can FTP,
    Iím your go along, get along guy,
    And I want you to stay with me."

    "If you want to get into my favorites," she said,
    And you want to get past my encryption,
    If you want to get through my firewall,
    Here is my only prescription.

    "First, put up your own Web site,
    And e-mail me when itís done.
    Iíll check your page rank with Google,
    And tell you if youíre the one."

    My life has become quite a trial,
    Since my Valentine got a computer.
    If I want her to care about me again,
    I guess Iíll have to reboot her.

    - By J. Fuchs
    If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.
    - Sun Tzu, The Art of War


  3. #3
    nice one Deeboe... Happy Valentines to you

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    I get the best present a baby due in 5 days w00t
    By the sacred **** of the sacred psychedelic tibetan yeti ....We\'ll smoke the chinese out
    The 20th century pharoes have the slaves demanding work

  5. #5
    AO's Resident Redneck The Texan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    congrats prod
    Git R Dun - Ty
    A tribe is wanted

  6. #6
    Hi Prod,

    Congratulations to you.... woot wooott for your new baby

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