Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 24

Thread: I knew it!!!

  1. #11
    AOs Resident Troll
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    3,152
    "Lady Astor confronted Winston Churchhill at a party and said "Winston, you are drunk!" to which he replied "Yes, madam, and you are ugly. The difference is: tomorrow, I shall be sober".
    Typical man....looks matter over everything...
    Reminds me of this one...again received via email

    A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.

    He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000
    and watches to see what they do with the money.

    The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her
    hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very
    nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more
    attractive for him because she loves him so much.
    The man was impressed.

    The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of
    golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As
    she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on
    him because she loves him so much.
    Again, the man is impressed.

    The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the
    $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint
    account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she
    loves him so much.
    Obviously, the man was impressed.

    The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
    money he'd given her.

    Then, he married the one with the biggest ****.

    Men are like that, you know.


    MLF
    How people treat you is their karma- how you react is yours-Wayne Dyer

  2. #12
    Senior Member nihil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    United Kingdom: Bridlington
    Posts
    17,189
    Lady Astor was Randolph Churchill's wife...........................Randolph was Winston's father

    I have drunk the full 2.5 pints from the Astor Cup................

    It is not that difficult really, just two sighters and seven to count at 300x, 500x and 600x (Queen's I)

    Then it gets a bit more interesting................two in and 15 to count at 900x

    The bitch you are referring to was Bessie Braddock

  3. #13
    AO Ancient: Team Leader
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    5,197
    Then, he married the one with the biggest ****.
    But, you see, you girls miss the important things every time... The gentleman gave away $10,000 to two ladies knowing he was going to marry the lady with the biggest ****. He didn't have to, but was, like us all, kind and magnanamous.

    And your comment about looks is very naughty.... Looks matter no end... But you don't see many men marrying women they find utterly unattractive because they have a pleasant looking checking balance... But it happens the other way around quite often doesn't it? Must have something to do with men being less able to fake arousal than women.... It's more wrong that caring whether one's partner is attractive. So there...
    Don\'t SYN us.... We\'ll SYN you.....
    \"A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.\" - Thucydides

  4. #14
    AOs Resident Troll
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    3,152
    And your comment about looks is very naughty
    I like being naughty.... You should know that by now mr shark

    Anyway....seeeing we are in tech humor I found another one....

    > > A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the
    > boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had
    > boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son,
    > "The
    bigger
    > they are the dumber the person is."
    >
    > The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns
    > to tell his mother that many of the men have larger 'units' than his
    > dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."
    >
    > Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
    > Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother,
    "Daddy
    > is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks,
    > the dumber he gets."


    MLF
    How people treat you is their karma- how you react is yours-Wayne Dyer

  5. #15
    AO Ancient: Team Leader
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    5,197
    Mistress LeFay:

    I'm quite familiar with your penchant for naughtiness... and you can call me Tiger if you'd like...

    Well... We are in Tech Humor you know...
    Don\'t SYN us.... We\'ll SYN you.....
    \"A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.\" - Thucydides

  6. #16
    The ******* Shadow dalek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    1,564
    Well... We are in Tech Humor you know

    Wheeww, Thank the bejesus, here I thought we were in "hardware" with a little "software" mixed in...
    PC Registered user # 2,336,789,457...

    "When the water reaches the upper level, follow the rats."
    Claude Swanson

  7. #17
    AO Ancient: Team Leader
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    5,197
    LOL... At my age I think "firmware" might be most appropriate... With the probability that software is on the horizon...
    Don\'t SYN us.... We\'ll SYN you.....
    \"A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.\" - Thucydides

  8. #18
    Macht Nicht Aus moxnix's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Huson Mt.
    Posts
    1,752
    Oh ho.....Tiger will soon be taking a viagra with ever other beer.
    \"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!\"
    Author Unknown

  9. #19
    AO Ancient: Team Leader
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    5,197
    Oh ho.....Tiger will soon be taking a viagra with ever other beer.
    Yeah, how is it working for you Mox???
    Don\'t SYN us.... We\'ll SYN you.....
    \"A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.\" - Thucydides

  10. #20
    Macht Nicht Aus moxnix's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Huson Mt.
    Posts
    1,752
    Heh heh heh, I don't drink beer.
    \"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!\"
    Author Unknown

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •