head injury

[Faqt]

LMAO-yet another entertaining email from my grandmother.

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate
my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.

On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth
was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head
injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then,
I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to
adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was
taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to
me
from the kitchen. "Ed! The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it."

"You know where the button is." I protested through the shower
(pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!"

"I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
(Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement
about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence. I
crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is
the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it
wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was

our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied
between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as
I
took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them
with her
needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, while
rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a
kitten
hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men,
in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. Fleeing straight
up,
the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me
out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been
fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to
conduct their work while suppressing hysterical laughter.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept
silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. "What's the matter,
cat got
your tongue?" If they had only known.

[ac1dsp3ctrum]

LOL, The poor guy got raped by a kitten
After reading this ill never look at my cat the same way

[Airhead]

I laughed 'til I cried. This one I'll have to pass along to my brother.

[thesecretfire]

Theres a similar joke to one like this, except under a slightly different settings. I think the quality of e-mail jokes is dropping a bit...

[lostit44]

I love your granny, she has the greatest sense of humor.Keep up the neat postings Faqt.

[debwalin]

I laughed until I cried and then I called my husband in and read it to him. It was hard to do as I was gasping and had tears rolling down my face, but I did manage to read it to him. It was quite a good laugh for us both first thing this morning!

Thanks!
Deb

[Und3ertak3r]

Geez he was lucky it wasnt an Aussi Footballer behind him..


mind you ... I will treat the cat with a lot more suspicion...


Good one Faqt


Cheers

[jethro]

Your granny worries me. I bet she's a biker.

[Faqt]

>jethro: nope, grandma's not a biker....she's retired, spends a lot of time quilting and crocheting.....and has one hell of a sense of humor!!
(the first email I ever received from her was a naked man with the american flag....conservative she is not...lol)