Unclear on the Concept

User walks into pilot fish's office and announces that one of the office copiers is smarter than the user is. "Being the positive, upbeat person that I am, I replied that can't be," says fish. "He told me he knew he must open something to put the paper in but wasn't sure what. That's when I had to inform him that the copier was in another office. He was looking at our network printer. I guess he was right after all."

Not Now, Sooner!

Pilot fish walks into work one morning to find his in-box overflowing with e-mails. "I was subscribed to a mailing list concerning a time-critical activity," fish says. "Apparently, some problem in the mailing list software managed to not send me these messages for days." Ten minutes later, fish hears from his boss, who's also on the list: "Why haven't you reacted to these messages?" Because I received them only now, just like you did, fish explains. Boss: "Yes, but these messages were sent two and three days ago. You should have reacted sooner!"

Tight

This user's monitor cable fell behind her desk, so she reattached it, but now the monitor won't work, she tells support pilot fish. Bad monitor, fish decides, and starts to remove the cable. "But I can't, because the screws are cross-threaded," fish says. "I use my multitool to unscrew them a quarter turn at a time as the user informs me that putting that cable back on after it fell off was very difficult. I finally see the problem: When the cable fell down behind her desk, she picked it up and reattached it upside down. The force required to insert a DB-15 plug upside down and screw the thing in is unimaginable. I'll never ask her to arm wrestle, that's for sure!"

The Power of DSL

Help desk gets a call from a user in a remote office after the power goes out: "How can I run my computer during a power outage?" You'll need a generator for that, fish says. "I don't want to get a generator," user replies. "I just want to be online when there's no power. Can't I just use the DSL line? You know, like how the phone works when the power's out. I wanna do that, only be online."

And how?

I can't connect with the network, remote user tells help desk pilot fish. "After several minutes of troubleshooting, it was clear that the problem was the user's modem, which basically died," fish reports. Impatient user's next question: "So where can I download another modem?"