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January 25th, 2002, 12:04 PM
#1
some jokes to relieve u from tensions....
hello friends here are some jokes i am posting....
just read them and they will give u the best medicene in this world......and that is
"laughter"
Good Housekeeping
Gardner goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Gardner," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks boss," says Gardner, "I knew I could count on you!"
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
************************
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
************************
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K R O K O D A I L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
**************************
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
*************************
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find NorthAmerica.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
**************************
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
*************************
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
**************************
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
***************************
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
***********************
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
************************
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
sametime."
**********************
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
***********************
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
************************
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
home.
**************************
At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute
year old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I musta got 'em
from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."
***************************
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him,what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
***************************
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
***************************
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
*****************************
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are
no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
*****************************
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first
thanks for reading....
hope u enjoyed....it...
intruder....
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