MOTTOS FOR THOSE WHO CAN'T SHUT UP ABOUT THEIR HOME STATES

Alabama: "Hell Yes, We Have Electricity"
Alaska: "11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong"
Arizona: "But It's A Dry Heat"
Arkansas: "Literacy Ain't Everything"
California: "By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda"
Colorado: "If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother"
Connecticut: "Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet"
Delaware: "We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water"
Florida: "Ask Us About Our Grandkids"
Georgia: "We Put The 'Fun' In Fundamentalist Extremism"
Hawaii: "Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru" (Death To Mainland Scum,
But Leave Your Money
Idaho: "More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The
Potatoes Sure Are Real Good"
Illinois: "Please Don't Pronounce the 'S'''
Indiana: "2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free"
Iowa: "We Do Amazing Things With Corn"
Kansas: "First Of The Rectangle States"
Kentucky: "Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names"
Louisiana: "We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Campaign"
Maine: "We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster"
Maryland: "If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It"
Massachusetts: "Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)"
Michigan: "First Line Of Defense From The Canadians"
Minnesota: "10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes"
Mississippi: "Come And Feel Better About Your Own State"
Missouri: "Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work"
Montana: "Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,
And Very Little Else"
Nebraska: "Ask About Our State Motto Contest"
Nevada: "Hookers and Poker!"
New Hampshire: "Go Away And Leave Us Alone!"
New Jersey: "You Want A #$%#! Motto? I Got Yer #$%#! Motto Right Here!"
New Mexico: "Lizards Make Excellent Pets"
New York: "You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ..."
North Carolina: "Tobacco Is A Vegetable"
North Dakota: "We Really Are One Of The 50 States!"
Ohio: "At Least We're Not Michigan"
Oklahoma: "Like The Play, Only No Singing"
Oregon: "Spotted Owl ... It's What's For Dinner"
Pennsylvania: "Cook With Coal"
Rhode Island: "We're Not REALLY An Island!"
South Carolina: "Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender"
South Dakota: "Closer Than North Dakota"
Tennessee: "The Educashun State"
Texas: "Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)"
Utah: "Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus"
Vermont: "Yep"
Virginia: "Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?"
Washington: "Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!"
Washington, D.C.: "Wanna Be Mayor?"
West Virginia: "One Big Happy Family ... Really"
Wisconsin: "Come Cut The Cheese"
Wyoming: "Where Men Are Men ... and the Sheep are Petrified"