They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat though.

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

If you think there is good in everybody, then you obviously haven't met everybody.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.

Ham and eggs are just a day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Confession is good for the soul ---but bad for your career.

I don't have a license to kill, but I do have a learners permit.

If your voting could really change things, Congress would make it illegal.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

The Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.

Remember: First you pillage, and then you burn.

Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

A fool and his money can throw one hell of a party.

Here I am!!! What are your other two wishes?

I'm pretty sure that 'bingo' is better than logic but I can't prove it.

If a thing is worth doing wouldn't it have been done already?

Half The People In The World Are Below Average.

If Ignorance Is Bliss, you must be Orgasmic.

Gun Control: Use both hands.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires.

Arkansas State Motto: Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Laugh.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

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