The images are instantly recallable for me from that day. I remember Duane's voice cracking as I walked into work and he told me about the first plane. I remember not being able to get a TV signal in the office and listening to the radio as Peter Jennings described the first and then second towers crashing to the ground. I remember going outside to make a call on my mobile phone because all of the land lines were jammed to call a girl who at that time was very close to me. I remember the phone calls later in the day, the speculation, the shock.

I remember feeling like I had to do something. I remember everybody else feeling that way too. Blood banks overflowed and the money poured in. I remember seeing the best that the American populace had to offer.

I also remember thinking that it won't last. I remember thinking that the money won't reach the victims, that the flag waving will become a marketing tool. I remember thinking that somewhere, a flag maker is getting very rich. And that even in the face of tragedy, somebody's making money.

It's no secret that I don't trust our current government administration. I remember thinking that we were the pooch and we were about to get screwed. Our freedoms were about to be the paper towel that had to clean up the World Trade Center Towers. And like a dirty paper towel, when the mess is clean, you throw them away. I remember hoping that I was wrong.

Fast forward one year.

In the eyes of individuals. People you and I both know, I can still see the pain, the fear, the human-ness of this anniversary. For a lot of people I know, this anniversary is still too soon, too raw, too potent to handle or remember. For many that saw it first hand or had friends or family involved in the attacks, they are choosing to block out all of the memorials and TV specials. It's just too soon.

Outside of that, outside of talking to people - like we're doing here - I'm extremely jaded and cynical about the whole anniversary. There are too many rememberances and TV specials to count. And I find it all to be fake and plastic. I think that we don't need 200 channels with 24 hours of WTC video and first person accounts of that day. For me, it's like jumping in sewage, taking a year to wash it off, and jumping back in.

I find it deeply disturbing that our government is making plans to attack Iraq - and bringing the issue to the American public around this particular time. To me, it smacks of opportunism, not leadership. Iraq may or may not need to be invaded, but to use the month surrounding today to make that the topic of national debate is as scumbag a thing to do as I can imagine.

In short, I think the government and big media companies are cheapening and using 9/11 to sell their own agendas. But at my post paranoid, my most cynical and jaded moments all I have to do is look in the eyes of my friends and co-workers and I'm reminded of why we're remembering today. It's because of the loss of humanity. It's for all the other reasons that you remember so vividly from that day.

So if you're like me, you'll spend today ignoring the endless TV shows dedicated to remembering one year ago. Instead, you'll seek the companionship of people you love or love to be around, and you'll go about your normal life. To quote a song I loved as a kid:

"We've got to hold on to what we've got
Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot"