Hey folks...been awhile since I posted. I received this email from my grandma and thought perhaps ya'll would appreciate it.



Actual medical record bloopers!
>She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last
night.

>The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

>Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

>Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

>The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker
instead.

>The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

>Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

>Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

>I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

>She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a
divorce.

>Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

>Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

>Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

>Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I
agree.

>By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

>Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

>On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

>The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

>The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

>Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

>Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

>The patient refused an autopsy.

>The patient has no past history of suicides.

>The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

>Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

>The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

>She slipped on the ice and apparently herlegs went in separate directions in early
December.

>Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

>The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and
crashed.

>She is numb from her toes down.

>The skin was moist and dry.

>Patient was alert and unresponsive.

>When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.