Now we all know and love the "bastard system admin from michigan" storries. I thought it might be fun to look at the senario from another perspective.


8:00 Am. Wow today is going to be great. That ***** that we have for a system administrator is getting an assistant. Maybe the jerk will be less stressed out and maybe more friendly.

8:15 Am. Great, just saw the new guy. Why is he wearing a Windows 95 shirt when we are running windows 2000? Must be a techie thing. Oh well maybe he wont yell at me as loud as that other *******. I can’t believe he actually wants us to call him “Gore”

9:00 Am. Here comes “gore”. He wants to know why I am using such a weenie password. I gently explain to him that I am dyslexic and have a hard time remembering long complicated passwords and if he has a problem with that he can take it up with the ACLU

10:45 Am. Why did the new guy run past my cubicle crying and muttering about command lines? I just don’t get it. Oh well “gore” (god I hate having to call him that) leaves for vacation tomorrow. Uh oh why did I just loose my connection to the internet? Time to call “him” again. That’s the 3rd time this week.

11:30 okay the new guy “Ted” got me back on the net. From what I hear “gore” will be busy the rest of the afternoon so we are all going to e-mail the boss about him. I suspect he’s intercepted previous emails we’ve sent but he can’t get us all at once can he?

3:00 Pm. Well the day is over. Whew only one interaction with the bastard.

A week later.

8:00 Well it’s a good thing “gore” is due back today (man I never thought I would say that). The boss has screwed up royally this time. The server won’t boot. It just beeps when he turns it on. Good thing I had back ups of everything. I don’t trust “gores” tape drive.

8:15 Am. There is some commotion in admin office. It would appear that the boss fainted. Musta been bad news.

10:30 nobody’s looking since the whole thing with the boss this morning. Time to use some free bandwidth. I sit back and crank up Kazaa. I use kazaa lite at home but who cares if there is spy ware on the company computer. Wow looky here: Microsoft Office XP with front page for FREE. Cool. Good thing I snuck in my usb burner in my brief case.

10:45 am. Busted. “gore” caught me sucking up bandwidth. Its not like anybody else was doing anything important. And what did he mean by him being “root”? I just don’t get some of these nerdy types.

2:00 Pm. Okay now that’s odd. My key doesn’t work in the lock and my wife wont open the door. What the hell is going on here? Like today hasn’t been bad enough. The boss actually hit me when he fired me. Sucker punched me right in the middle of the parking lot.

Naturaly i borrowed quite a bit from the original story so GORE i must say thank you for putting this faint glimmer of light into the dark tunnel we call life