Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sanpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away.
A couple of weeks latter, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"