Things You Don't Want To Hear From Technical Support

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

* "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

* "So -- what are you wearing?"

* "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

* "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."

* "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

* "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."

* "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

* "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

* "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

* "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."


-From ducksh*t.com

"Do you know how to solder?"

"I can't help you unless your using a Commodore."

"Have you ever played pong?"

"............"

"Do you know C+?"

"Yea, we've been having a lot of complaints with that...........[click]"

"Look mister, I'm only making 5.25 an hour. You think I know what the hell is wrong?"

"Call us back in 24 hours. Then I'll either have an answer or you will have to wait another 24 hours.."

"Speak up Sonny, I can barely hear you. Let me turn my aide up a lil.......That's better!"

"You'll need to call 1-900-555-2262 and ask those nice ladies...."

-Some I made up................