India and Pakistan have recently realized that, if they continued
political tension, they would some day end up destroying each other.
So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a
dogfight.
The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to
develop the best fighting dog they could.
The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right to rule
Kashmir.
The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Pakistanis found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers
in
the world.
They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the
meanest Siberian wolves.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter
killed all the other puppies and fed the lone dog all of the milk.

They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect
killing machine,
until, after the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron
prison bars on his cage.
Only the trainers could handle this beast.

When the day of the big fight arrived,
the Indians showed up with a strange animal:
It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.

Everyone felt sorry for the Indians.
No one else thought this weird animal stood a chanceagainst the
growling beast in the Pakistani camp.

The bookies predicted that Pakistan would win in less than a minute.
The cages were opened.
The dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring.

The Pakistani dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant
wiener-dog..
As he got to within an inch of the Indian dog, the dachshund opened
its jaws and swallowed the Paki beast in one bite.
There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog's
tail.

The Pakistanis approached the Indians, shaking their heads in
disbelief.
"We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for
five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and
Rottweilers.
They developed a killing machine."

"Really?" the Indians replied. "
We had our top plastic surgeons working for five years to make an
alligator look like a dachshund".