Lerm:
Your original question was pants. If you had posted in the style of your enhanced version, then the response would have been far more positive from the outset.
For my 2c, Lerm: edit your post, add details of what EXACTLY you are after. bear in mind that as a newcomer to this site that people will NOT give out advice to 'bend' the rules, UNTIL you have proven to them that you have something to offer the site. And that you are going to stay around and share some of YOUR knowledge here.

In short: Don't ask dick questions until you have some posts under your belt, through which the membership can make up their mind about how they will respond to you.
I stand by what I posted in my first take on the thread.

Oh yes, welcome to AO, and I hope you enjoy your time here as much as I do.
This also stands.

3. Undoubtedly, based on some of the responses, I've already received, some of you will feel compelled to flame me for reasons of your own. Some of you will simply believe that I'm lying. If this information is inappropriate to post on a public board but someone out there actually believes me and wishes to help me, then I would be happy to receive a PM re: this situation. I rather doubt that I'll be posting here again .
If you take this experience of AO as your yardstick, then you might as well not post again. If, however, you realise that mistakes have been made on BOTH sides, then I'm certain that you will be a regular contributor to these pages.

You have much to offer in regards to real world scenarios and problems, you will also find that there are people here who can help you in times of need, all it needs is a little bit of give and take.