Good Time Girl

Two buddies in a bar were comparing their partners' sexual behaviour.
"Does your missus close her eyes when you're at it?" one asks.
"Sure does," his mate replies. "She can't bear to see me having a good time!"


Bed And Breakfast
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's

flatmate was. Watching them interact, she became sure there was more between John and his flatmate than met the eye.
Reading his mum's thoughts, John volunteered: "I know what you must be thinking, but we're just flatmates.:
A week later, Julie said to John: "Ever since your mother came over, I've been unable to find the gravy ladle. You

don't suppose she took it, do you?"
So he wrote: "Dear Mother, i'm notsaying you took a gravy ladle from my house but the fact is that it's been missing

since you were here for dinner."
His mother replied: "Dear John, I'm not saying you sleep with Julie but the fact remains that is she were sleeping in

her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."



Super Fund
On her Honeymoon, a newlywed wife asked to be paid for sex. Her husband enjoyed the game and paid up. And 40 years

it was the same, the wife getting cash for sex.
On their 40Th Anniversary in a city hotel, the wife said: "For years you've paid me for sex. I invested that money

wisely and we own this whole city block, the hotel, and the plaza beneath."
The husband was silent. So he asked: "Why so glum dear?"
He replied: "we'll i'm just imagining what we have if i'd given you all of my business...."