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Thread: Computer 1 Liners

  1. April 16th, 2002, 10:25 AM #1
    THE-OMEN
    THE-OMEN is offline
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    Computer 1 Liners

    46 Computer One-Liners

    Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

    COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

    Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

    Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

    Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

    My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

    C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

    C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

    Best file compression around: "FORMAT /Q C:" = 100% compression

    The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

    BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

    The name is Baud......, James Baud.

    BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

    C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

    Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..

    Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

    As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

    Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

    E Pluribus Modem

    >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

    A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

    An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

    CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?

    Does fuzzy logic tickle?

    A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

    11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.

    Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

    Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

    Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

    RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

    All computers wait at the same speed.

    DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

    Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ...

    Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

    Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

    ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

    E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

    Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

    All weyht. Rho sretchid mg kigtops awound?

    Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

    "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

    DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

    Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

    Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

    Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

    Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.




    HE HE HE

    these are from

    http://c128133.net61215.cablenet.ne..../frconten.html
    [pong][gloworange]665[/gloworange] Next door to the [glowpurple]devil[/glowpurple][/pong]
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  2. April 16th, 2002, 11:17 AM #2
    politroyx
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    "The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. "
    Hehehehe.
    Listen closely to your enemies. They tell you your faults.
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  3. April 16th, 2002, 01:02 PM #3
    Troy11277
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    I like it. Good post for a slow Tuesday morning.
    “It will not bother me should I live my entire life without having to kill a man but I have to say I\'m glad to be surrounded by a thousand 19 year-old Marines who can\'t wait to.”

    email reportedly from an Air Force EOD Tech at Kandahar airfield
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  4. April 16th, 2002, 01:07 PM #4
    nyx
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    well, i really was in need of a few laughs. Thx
    Nice post...
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  6. April 16th, 2002, 01:49 PM #5
    PhirePhreak
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    Well done!
    I think I may have a successor in the area of Nerd Humor
    God bless,
    --PhirePhreak
    I know you\'re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you\'re afraid. You\'re afraid of us. You\'re afraid of change. I don\'t know the future. I didn\'t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it\'s going to begin. I\'m going to hang up this phone, and then I\'m going to show these people what you don\'t want them to see. I\'m going to show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.
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  7. April 16th, 2002, 03:46 PM #6
    11001001
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    Re: Computer 1 Liners

    Originally posted here by THE-OMEN

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    The funny thing is we actually did this to someone. Boy was he pissed!
    Above ground, vertical, and exchanging gasses.
    Now you see me | Now you don't
    "Relax, Bender; It was just a dream. There's no such thing as two." ~ Fry
    sometimes my computer goes down on me
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  8. April 16th, 2002, 03:52 PM #7
    THE-OMEN
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    KEEP EM COMMING Tuesday is the most boaring day
    [pong][gloworange]665[/gloworange] Next door to the [glowpurple]devil[/glowpurple][/pong]
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