Hello everybody.

Exactly ten years ago today the coroner came to my mom and had to break bad news. A couple of hikers found the body of her husband inside of a VW mini bus. He explained it was a suicide by asphyxiation. From that day forward, it would never be the same for my family.

A lot of history was behind what would ultimately lead to his suicide and thus untimely death at only 52 years old. Many years before, my mom recalled my dad hinting at suicide, withdrawing, and over the years a horrid mental illness getting worse because he was not treated. Around the early 90's, my mom wanted to divorce my father, and he moved to the guest house. A little more than a year later, he took a whole bottle of pills (I do not know exactly what it was) and was rushed to the hospital, and remained in ICU for three days.

After coming out of his coma and my folks bank account now drained because he had no health insurance, the police went to the hospital and told my father since he tried to commit suicide, they will have to take him down for evaluation. Some evaluation. He was released 72 hours later, and he never went to get treated like the doctors suggested. The illness got worse...

It got so bad because he told me he was getting messeges from God that the world was coming to an end and we needed to prepare for that event. He would close his eyes and he would say a "face with a white beard" was talking to him and he would write down these "instructions" from setting a timeline of events, self-mutilation, starring at the sun, and he even went as far as to tell me I was Jesus. Now that in itself could make a story.

I could not take it anymore. I left home and went to live with my uncle in Upland, CA., and told my mom I would look for work there. Life was looking good for me, then tragedy struck again. My father was arrested for lewd acts on a child, and was released from jail until his trial. That day never came. Instead, he sat my mom down and confessed to molestations and lies. He left never to return.

What's the moral of this story? My dad may be dead, but that does not mean others have to suffer like he did. Severe mental illness, divorce, money problems, school problems, self-esteem issues, addiction and many other factors play a role in one wanting to contemplate suicide.

There is hope, and there is help. However, one needs to know the warning signs and ways to get treatment. If you or somebody you know is suicidal, take the time to help them. Reach out, and be a life preserver, because suicidal behavior is nothing to ignore.

Thank you for your time,

albn