perfect security or security overkill?

[HTRegz]

I'm still seriously hope this is a joke. I couldn't stop laughing. There's a line where overkill starts, this post is miles beyond overkill. I can see security, yes, but this is retarded.

Pirogoeth: You say this doesn't affect your daily functionality? I have issues with changing my passwords once a month on certain systems...Unless you tell someone your password, changing your BIOS password won't make a difference. If it's stolen, they have it, they can sit and try and crack it forever, if it's not stolen, you have it and it's in your possession. Either way you are the only one who knows the password. Having to have a specific combination of keys held down, again an inconvenience. I normally hit my power button and walk away from my PC, as do several people I know. Locking down your laptop in your own home? Go commit yourself, get some help. 5 x 512 encryption?? useless and rediculous. I agree with whoever mentioned the kiddie porn, you have something highly illegal on there and are worried about being busted if you are going to all these trouble. I'd suggest stepping away from the computer, picking up the phone and calling the men in white.

[seabass55]

Amen

[Jnet]

Where's the elecric shock keyboard, the self-desroying hard drive (not rm -rf * ), the auto destruction if you havn't logged in within an hour, the honey pot, the flame thrower, the bullet proof screen and case, the randomising of the keyboard layout and the requiring of 100% perfected typing!

Maybe just a little overkill. You know british spies leave there laptops in taxis (we will of cause deny this) and do you see british nuclear weapons heading of in to the sky.

[PoSer]

you forgot the laser in the web cam and the C4 under the mouse pad if you don't point at the right things in the right order

[x acidreign x]

why not just post an armed guard? how about putting the laptop in a vault 15 miles under the surface of the earth? why not just explode the whole thing, that'll make sure noone ever gets your data!

[steve.milner]

Forget all of the crap you are on about.

Take the HD out of the laptop & carry it with you at all times (They are smaller than a ciggarette packet)

It'll be much less hastle than pressing <Left CTRL> <Right Shift> <F1> <F12> <d>[i]<c><k><h><e><a><d> while booting and changing your password every day and whistling dixie with a penny whistle up your a$$

Unless of course you are screwed if you are caught carrying your HD by the Feds. In which case you're doing something very naughty.

Get [real|help|a life] numbnuts. Who the ***** do you think you are trying to impress

Prove me wrong, what are you storing that's so important. Perhaps the JupM folks should be digging out the logs & handing them over to the feds.

Steve

[Nimh]

Jnet, you forgot the 'Cone of Silence' from "Get Smart"

[dstevens1958]

It hurts! oh it hurts! oh my, I think I was laughing a little too hard. K, now that I need to get arm-rests for my chair so that I don't fall out of it laughing so hard, here is my 2 cents, lol.

You want perfect security. Alright, understandable, I'm sure we all do. Want a sure-fire way that its secure? Fine, here it is:
1) Don't use a laptop and carry it around with you. Its like a wallet, you can get mugged on the street too you know.
2) Build a concrete bunker (walls at least 6 feet thick) about 150 feet below the surface. Fill it with non-perishible food items, air-recycling systems (biological works well) and your own power supply. (In event of nuclear attack, you should be ok, except for radiation of course)
3) Don' tell anyone about his laptop (oh wait, too late...)
4) Secure the entrance to this bunker using military level tactics. Start with cameras, lots of them. Then add land mines all over the place, and Claymore's triggered by motion tracking systems. Don't forget the lasers, they are a must-have.
5) Put the laptop in a different bunker, 100 feet below the first one. (250 feet under earth) with same security. Also add some conventional nuclear warheads in the tunnel just in case...
6) Have everything run off biometrics. (Doors, etc) Hey, its only you protecting this, right?
7) Use tempested screens, never know who or what may be watching. (Don't forget the tim-foil hat for your head, aliens could be listening to you think of your next BIOS password)
8) Every day, take your old drive and grind it down to dust, and melt it back into its elements, and then freeze them at absolute zero. (which is -273.15*C)
9) Run away (the elements' nucleous will stop moving and collapse, causing a black hole which will suck up the earth in about 1000 years)
10) Don't buy your parts, make them from their elements. (How do you know your computer wasn't hard-wired to transmit all your data into space for the aliens to read? hmmm?)

Follow those 10 steps and you will not only kill yourself and everyone who comes near, but you could theoretically erase the Milky Way. (with the black hole in a few million years) At least your kiddie porn will be safe! (Though, no more will be produced. My, what a shame that would be.)

Is the above too much? Maybe, here are some alternatives:
http://www.tworivershospital.com/
http://www.ynhh.org/ynhph/ynhph.html
http://www.austenriggs.org/ <-- Hey, its non-profit!
http://www.lasencinashospital.com/
...

Get the point? So now that I'm done making fun, I'm going to go live my life without worry of a supernatural race stealing my work from under me, or a government for that matter. (ever try sitting on your laptop? Who would ever look there!) <<crunch>> hmmm....

lol, I will be quiet now,

Dave

[Pirogoeth]

first off its not kiddy porn its my files from work.

i usually take my work home with me and i really dont need anything i have on here to get out to anybody.

[MrLinus]

*Thread moved from *nix security to Misc security (I didn't even realize this wasn't related to *nix specific for some dumb reason -- not enough caffeine this week I think)*

As for whether it's "perfect" or "overkill", it doesn't matter what the opinion is here. The question is "does the countermeasures you are putting in ensure that the asset is protected"? Based on what you wrote at the beginning, I'm inclined to say yes and no. You do protect your data to a degree but you state over and over again you don't care whether the laptop is stolen. The problem is, if the laptop is stolen, then someone could get physical access to the HD and find a way in (there always is a way in.. just because no one here knows about it doesn't mean it doesn't exist -- sorta like a Schroedinger cat scenario).

Some of the suggestions, aside from the comments, remarks and jokes, have some validity like encrypting the whole drive. I'd almost suggest ensuring that your drive only works with that specific laptop (there are some manufacturers like that. I believe Panasonic is one and IBM is another). You may want to do some searches for military level of data protection as this may be more along the lines of what you are looking for. XP isn't bad but even when joined to an AD domain there are ways to by-pass the security of that.

There is, however, a fine line between useability (being able to alter the data) and security. (There is a triangle concept to this: useability aka ease of use, security and stability -- OSes today can only do 2 of 3 at any time or so I've been told).