Nice poll... my alternative is:
- Great
- Good
- Lame
- Utterly pathetic I want to have sex with Bush

At least my wife wouldn't vote for the last option in my alternative poll (I hope...)

I think there's a hidden footnote in the Constitution that says that all Acceptance Speeches need to contain the following, in this order:

1. A reference to the place where the convention is held, linking it to the US's history:

Bush, 2000

Philadelphia, PA
Our founders first defined that purpose here in Philadelphia ... Ben Franklin was here. Thomas Jefferson. And, of course, George Washington -- or, as his friends called him, "George W."
Kerry, 2004

Boston, MA
Home where our nation's history was written in blood, idealism, and hope.
2. Facts about family and friends that nobody needs or wants to know

Bush, 2000
To our daughters, Barbara and Jenna, we love you, we're proud of you, and as you head off to college this fall ... ... Don't stay out too late, and e-mail your old dad once in a while, will you?
Kerry, 2004

I was born in Colorado, in Fitzsimmons Army Hospital, when my dad was a pilot in World War II. Now, I'm not one to read into things, but guess which wing of the hospital the maternity ward was in? I'm not making this up. I was born in the West Wing!
3. Thank the other candidates from your party for giving you a hard time in the pre-elections

Bush, 2000
I am grateful for John McCain and the other candidates who sought this nomination. Their convictions strengthen our party.
Kerry, 2004
And standing with us in that fight are those who shared with me the long season of the primary campaign: Carol Moseley Braun, General Wesley Clark, Howard Dean, Dick Gephardt, Bob Graham, Dennis Kucinich, Joe Lieberman and Al Sharpton.
To all of you, I say thank you for teaching me and testing me – but mostly, we say thank you for standing up for our country and giving us the unity to move America forward.
4. A KEY-LINE, to be repeated ad nauseum

Bush, 2000
They had their chance/moment. They have not led. We will.
Kerry, 2004
America can do better. And help is on the way.
5. Some general facts that say it all and don't say anything at all.

6. Some mud-throwing.

7. Fire works!

Bush's speech in 2000 was one of the strongest, best-written I've ever seen. It contained all the same ingredients all acceptance speeches contain, but added some zing... Kerry's speech writers forgot to add that zing... but in essence, they're exactly the same.

Kerry needed more quotes like this one:
Kerry, 2004
I am proud that after September 11th all our people rallied to President Bush's call for unity to meet the danger. There were no Democrats. There were no Republicans. There were only Americans. How we wish it had stayed that way.
That's what America should stand for, in stead of this ridiculous "liberal vs. conservative" bull.

And for those who say that Kerry didn't say anything: he did. He said it all and didn't say anything, just like any other acceptance speech. Here are the facts. If he wins, let's talk again in four years

General
- Restore trust and credibility to the White House
- Never mislead us into war. Attorney General who upholds the Constitution.
- No outsourcing

Military
- Ask hard questions and demand hard evidence
- Reform the intelligence system
- Never go to war because we want to, only because we have to
- Iraq: bring our allies to our side and share the burden, reduce the cost to American taxpayers, and reduce the risk to American soldiers.
- Rebuild our alliances
- Add 40,000 active duty troops
- Double special forces
- Newest weapons and technology
- End the backdoor draft of National Guard and reservists
- Lead a global effort against nuclear proliferation
- National security begins with homeland security
- Implement the recommendations of the 9/11 commission

Social
- Not privatize Social Security
- Not cut benefits
- Pick your own doctor
- Medicare will negotiate lower drug prices for seniors
- Allowing Americans to buy less expensive prescription drugs from other countries

Economoy
- New incentives to revitalize manufacturing
- Investments in technology and innovation that will create the good-paying jobs of the future
- Close tax loopholes that reward companies for shipping jobs overseas
- Reward companies that create and keep good paying jobs in the US
- Trade and compete in the world
- Cut the deficit in half in four years by ending tax giveaways
- Cut middle class taxes
- Reduce tax burden on small business
- Roll back the tax cuts for the wealthiest individuals (over $200,000 a year) to invest in job creation, health care and education
- Energy plan: invest in new technologies and alternative fuels and the cars of the future

Education
- Smaller class sizes
- Tax credit to families for each and every year of college


Korp > Did he throw in that part about the Founding Fathers? It's not in the official version of his speech (no mention of Founding Fathers at all), and I didn't see it on TV (for obvious reasons)...

DJScribble > it's of course your own right to think about Kerry what you want, but I don't think he's dumb... an ass, maybe... dumb? Nah...