This is in bad taste but it was told to me by a man from Belfast.

Guy is walking down the street in Belfast when someone steps out of the shadows puts a gun to his head and drags him down an alley.

"Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?" growls the the attacker.

Thinking quickly "I'm a jew" he says

"**** me", comes the reply,"I must be the luckiest Arab in Ireland!".