Not even I could make this up

[dinowuff]

Actual email

Jon &/or Anne,

Customer called and said that the installers filled a few of the holes in the floor with ****. Customer is concerned with the integrity of the hole, if the new chairs anchors come to close to the hole.

Please provide an explanation. Please note, that I am provided standard hardware for this project.

As well, the major of the anchor holes were not patched. Can you address this?

A quick reply from one in the distribution list

For the record [user name removed to protect the stupid] the proper name for the material used in the holes is caulk.

[delstar]

Ooo baby. You like your hole filled with some caulk, don't ya? Makes it all nice a gooey...

I feel dirty now.

[nihil]

Caulk! caulk? Jeez, what ranch do those goddamn cowboys come from?

Caulk is used to SEAL things against water, draughts, or for filling gaps prior to painting and decorating. It has no structural functionality whatsoever, in fact it is , by design, intended to be flexible.

Either the issue is cosmetic, or the operatives are very badly trained? To fill a structural hole, try:

1. Concrete
2. Cement
3. Epoxy resin
4. Fibreglass
5. Wooden or metal plates
6. A screw
7. A bolt
8. Welding
9. A bung
10. Liquid metal

I agree totally with the customer............. they filled the holes with $h1t. And, like the customer, I would use the expression as an excuse to refuse to pay for the job, or at least exact a substantial reduction.

Why is it that I suspect that last sentence says it all?