OH Dear!

All I can suggest is going to a quality pharmacy and getting some glycerine and "TCP", which is "an aqueous glycerol solution of halogenated phenols 0.68%w/v and Phenol BP 0.175% w/v" it is made by Pfizer, for example. You make a solution of the two and gargle.............

It worked when I was a choirboy

No, not "THAT film"............. for "that" you need an ice-bath, fume cupboard, running water, 25% concentrated sulphuric acid, 75% fuming nitric acid, glycerine, and a 9volt battery, mercury trembler switch.............. errrrrr...... ummm yeah well............. command wire?

Good luck!

They do teach you some strange stuff in the military?