I don't think you're being sarcastic - I think you're being clueless.

I'm guessing you're stuck in the past... IE5 with IIS2.nothing or something...

Try running Server 2008 (or even 2003...), SQL Server 2005 or 2008, IIS 6+... Throw .Net 3.5 in the mix, add VS2008...

You can keep testing out OSes to see which one has the best email client (It's Outlook, of course) or which one lets you mix your music best, but maybe it's time to grow up and look for a decent platform. You bring your LAMP stuff, I'll bring the most mature platform the world has ever seen.