Ghost_25inf
March 14th, 2002, 03:20 AM
THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under a car's hood. For a male:
The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self
emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts
and feelings with one's partner. Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly
taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n. Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured
makes ''look bigger.'' Male: what you slap when someone's scored a
touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a
family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or
book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of
digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and
male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a
couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end
up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one
TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels
every three minutes.
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man
opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.This
time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more
amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complained
to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The
judge asked the man (about 20) what he had to say for himself. The man
replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I
couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat
under a sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Slogan's Liniment will reduce
the swelling" and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign
that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I could hardly contain
myself. BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a
sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident...I just
lost it." "CASE DISMISSED"
What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
Bubblegum (what were you thinking?)
The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self
emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts
and feelings with one's partner. Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly
taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n. Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured
makes ''look bigger.'' Male: what you slap when someone's scored a
touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a
family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or
book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of
digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and
male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a
couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end
up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one
TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels
every three minutes.
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man
opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.This
time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more
amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complained
to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The
judge asked the man (about 20) what he had to say for himself. The man
replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I
couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat
under a sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Slogan's Liniment will reduce
the swelling" and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign
that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I could hardly contain
myself. BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a
sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident...I just
lost it." "CASE DISMISSED"
What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
Bubblegum (what were you thinking?)