Ok let me get a piece of this:

Start out by pressing CTRL-ALT-SHIFT and while holding those down press one by one every letter on your keyboard and all 10 numbers. If you see a menu pop up or something asking you for a password...then you most likely have something installed.

I'm sorry but many times CTRL-ALT-Delete will now show spy programs which run in stealth mode.

Go to http://www.glocksoft.com and download the trial version of Advanced Administrative Tools. One of the features of this program is to show every program running in your system....and it could probably show the stealthy ones (I'm going to try this on my PC and let u know how it goes). You can also do a portscan on your PC to see if anything is out of ordinary.

Are you using a firewall? If yes, what kind? Have you allowed any new programs to connect to the internet lately?

Since its your EX, I can also see a legal case in here, for Invasion of Privacy and such.


Let us know how it goes, perhaps we can think of something else with some more information.

Good Luck



EDIT:

I just tested 2 programs: Spy Agent 4.0 and iOpus Starr Pro.
Spy agent would show up in the process viewer althogh It was set to run in stealth mode.

iOpus Starr Pro, had the option to be installed completely invisible...which made it pretty much impossible to see at ALL. Nothing on the start menu, nothing on process viewer, nothing in your C drive. NADA.

AAtools only picked up Spy Agent. Perhaps you should try some programs made specifically for spy programs.